Friday, November 27, 2015

้›จใฎๅŒ‚ใ„


ใ“ใ‚“ใฐใ‚“ใฏ。

ํŒจ์‚ใ ใ‚ˆ! ใ…‹ใ…‹ใ…‹ 

(ๆททใœ็งใฏใ“ใ“ใง,้Ÿ“ๅ›ฝใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹?)
ไปŠๆ—ฅใ‚ใŸใ—ใฏๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใ‚’ใ‹ใใพใ™ใญ. ใงใ‚‚, ็งใฎๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใฏใพใ ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใงใ™. ใใ‚Œใงใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใชใ•ใ„。ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใฏใจใฆใ‚‚ๅฌ‰ใ—ใ„ใงใ™ใ‚ˆ! ็งใฏใ ใใŒใใ‚’ในใ‚“ใใ‚‡ใ†ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™, ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใฏใจใฆใ‚‚้ข็™ฝใ„ใงใ™ใญ。

็งใฏๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใจ้Ÿ“ๅ›ฝไบบๅ‹้”ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™, ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใจใฆใ“่ฆชๅˆ‡ใงใ™。 ๆฏŽๆ—ฅ็งใŸใกใฏๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใ‚’่ฉฑใ›ใพใ™。ๆ™‚ใ€…่จ€่‘‰ใŒใงใใพใ›ใ‚“, ้›ฃใ—ใ„ใงใ™。ๅฌ‰ใ—ใ‹ใฃใŸ!! ็งใฏ้Ÿ“ๅ›ฝใจๆ—ฅๆœฌใŒๅคงๅฅฝใ!!! ็งใฏไปŠใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ไธกๆ–นใฎ่จ€่ชžใ‚’ๅ‹‰ๅผทใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™。ใƒใƒณใ‚ฐใƒซใƒผใฏ็ฐกๅ˜ใงใ™ใŒ, ่จ€่‘‰ใฏ้•ใ†ใจ้›ฃใ—ใ„。ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžใงใฏ,ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใงใ™。ๅคงๅค‰ใงใ™ใญ! ใจใ“ใ‚ใง,  ็งใฏ็งใฎๅ‹ไบบใจ้“ใ‚’ๆญฉใใพใ—ใŸ。็ช็„ถใฏ้›จใŒ้™ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ! ๆฟกใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸใญ~  (็ฌ‘) ใ—ใ‹ใ—, ้›จใฎๅŒ‚ใ„ใŒ็พŽใ—ใ„ใงใ™。 ใใ‚Œใฏๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ‚’ใ‚‚ใŸใ‚‰ใ—ใพใ™。

ใ‚ใ‚! ๆฅ้€ฑใซ่ฉฆ้จ“ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™, ๆœˆๆ›œๆ—ฅใ‹ใ‚‰ๆฅ้€ฑใพใงใ‚’ใฏใ˜ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™。ใใ‚Œใงใ‚‚, ็งใŒๅ‹‰ๅผทใ—ใชใ‹ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„。
ใใ‚Œใ˜ใ‚ƒ~ ใพใŸ!

Monday, November 16, 2015

Scientifically Attractive


"I like people who ventures out mentally, people who like to have intellectual conversations with me, the type who actually tries to reach the corners of my mind and bring different parts of me that are hard for me to express. The part of me that I am afraid to show to the world because I am anxious for being called a freak because I have obsession to strange things to the eye of the world."


As you may already know based on certain scientific proofs that our brain works in mysterious ways. Surprisingly it tends to be more creative at night and that is why mostly I write posts like this at midnight. It's 1.43 am here, and I was just getting up after being lazy for the whole day, still, didn't finish my home works yet. As expected. I know I am undisciplined, I just found out another activities which I consider more interesting. I guess? I even didn't do my art home works yet, gosh see I almost ended up complaining too much.

But here goes my chest feels lighter than before as if the burdens that weighed me these days have been lifted up. It did. Thank you for slapping me so hard to made me realize that I didn't know myself quite well and to know me better than myself. Now I realized where this pride brought me to. But then again I wasn't regret because hell dude it shaped me to who I am today and shouldn't we be grateful for it?

Anyway, as I got my mood back or your so called energized. Whatever. Allow me to share what I've learned in these last few weeks. I've been surrounded by multicultural diversity through my whole life even though I jumped to its activity approximately since I got my first Facebook account (dude, I got my first account when I was in grade 6!) Okay so let me tell you, I have this kinda strict parents. well they don't bite, I understand that it is just their way to love me as I am their only daughter, even though I have one brother too, but you guys already know how parents protect their daughter. Well and as a good daughter, I don't want to do something without my parents' permission, as far as I am concerned, I never did. Even though I know, some other things didn't really harm me. They have raised me this far, is it obvious?

Since then, I started to make friends with foreigners that few years later I decided to do snailmailing and postcrossing, etcetera. It always gives me some strange feeling whenever I received mail or packages from people in the other side of the world. I remember my very first letter was so short and I am feeling like my whole day brightened up. I learned so many things like their cultural norms, languages, signatured things from their country, until their personal opinions towards everything. I found it really amusing to know different thoughts. I learned how to deal with things I've never expected to deal with. Honestly I hate small talks, in outside I look like I don't know how to start a conversation and being all awkward wallflower doesn't know what to do, but once you get closer to me, you will never get rid of long paragraphs (Okay even though I have this one friend who is one level above me. Shut up, don't be cocky.) 

Talking about daily life is amusing sometimes, but in certain point sometimes we need to stop being dull minded people and start thinking about something differently. I like people who ventures out mentally, people who like to have intellectual conversations with me, the type who actually tries to reach the corners of my mind and bring different parts of me that are hard for me to express. The part of me that I am afraid to show to the world because I am anxious for being called a freak because I have obsession to strange things to the eye of the world. Or if I could say; I wanna talk about faraway galaxies, your opinion about how the universe was created, the meaning of life, death, atoms, aliens, your childhood, insecurities, and fears. I like people with depth, who tend to see the world by their own perspective. Who didn't see the world the way the media shows them. Twisted mind and memories. I would never get bored to this kind of people. Because they know how to live the life indeed.

As for myself, it is scientifically attractive. But you really have to know, I am not one of those people who are born smart-headed, I am so lazy and basic potato kind of girl, I am just having a big admiration towards intelligence. And that is it. We always attracted by the quality its possess, aren't we? Despite that, it sounds like a reciprocity of attraction, isn't it? Obviously. Psychologically, it is a term of phenomenon which reflects the notion that people feel better about themselves from the people who surrounded them with positive feelings. It works best naturally, correct or correct?

However, no matter how hard I am trying to convince people, only a few would really understand. I wonder, if somebody would even bother to read such nonsense paragraph of my tortured and jailed minds. What about you? Did you even bother to read?



p.s it's 2.53 am already, better off to sleep, IT IS Monday. By the way I am open with friendly discussion via email I hope we can be a good friends~^^

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Serendipity

"...I am feeling like my brain is freezing or lagging or whatever you called it, my minds are scattering all over the floor that it had been squeezed and perpetually melted itself."

"...it was taken during a flight."

Hello! Here I am, still the same, dealing with bunch of school tasks and else. But I guess mine wasn't as complicated as your though. High school can be hard sometimes but it is great. Well, just great. Not too little, not too much. Just right. Now, I am in a point where I don't know what should I do. I still have probably like 9 remaining tasks I left behind. I tried to finished it but guess what, it didn't work as expected. I mean, yeah. I think I just lost the feeling to do those tasks now. I didn't force myself at all, otherwise I am feeling like I had done nothing but complaining. I am feeling like I didn't do any single thing. Or was it worth it? 

I also in a chapter of my Japanese lesson where I left all the pages blank because I am just too confused. The grammars are so complex that I don't understand what am I even doing. Like so confused. Literally, I am feeling like my English skill also decreasing gradually and so do; my Japanese, French and Korean didn't improved at all after all this time. I don't know why I am just so confused I am feeling like my brain is freezing or lagging or whatever you called it, my minds are scattering all over the floor that it had been squeezed and perpetually melted itself. 

Oh and about the picture above, it was taken during my flight to Jakarta on last Friday. I was given the opportunity to visit the Embassy of Georgia because I won an essay competition held by Leavco and the embassy as well. I had a great time with other winners too even though I was still the same, being awkward on starting up a conversation. I have never been good at conversations and expressing feelings verbally. But other than that, I am feeling so grateful to get this opportunity, even the Embassy of Georgia said my essay was the best among all. Still, I don't think it is good enough, each of essay has its own uniqueness comparing to mine. 

By the way, I am feeling so grateful for everyone who always standing beside me through the ups and downs in life and painting my life with different colors. Thanks for everyone who hasn't give up by my mood swings and/or my weird behaviors towards everything in this world or to deal with my freak obsession some people would never understand. Like ever. At some time, I really find it hard or weird to get myself rely on someone but again, truth be told and food be sold. (What was the last line stands for, duh)

I am so hungry, bye.