I have a lot of trust issues. Every time I tried to trust people in the past, I've been let down, and now I thought it is easier and less painful to just rely on myself. I have always tried my best to see the good in others and expecting every single person in the world have a good intention. I've never thought that there is some evil in people (unless they have problems with their psychology or something). I've always believed that most people are good, and the pure evil ones only make up less than 2% in the world.
I was really sure until I finally in this point where I questioned my own paradigms. Was I wrong? For expecting such thing from people? Do I really worth the trust..or am I just easy to be fooled at? Do people really broke their trust...or was I just disappointed? Was it only me...who assume the worst before it happened? Was it my fault..or was it, theirs? Do I really have trust issues...or was I just trying to avoid the pain?
Even if I knew the answer, does it really matter? Does it really worth it?
And I've learned the hard way that never rely on anyone,
فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ إِنَّكَ عَلَى الْحَقِّ الْمُبِينِ
"So, rely upon Allah; indeed, you are upon the clear truth." Qur'an 27:79
وَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ وَكَفَىٰ بِاللَّهِ وَكِيلًا
"And rely upon Allah, and Sufficient is Allah as Disposer of Affairs." Qur'an 33:3
And I am sorry to you...
And I ask for Allah's forgiveness.
That if I have a lot of mistakes, as I don't have the same pure heart as yours. Dear brothers and sisters, keep me in your prayer and I will keep you in my prayers, and if I did something wrong, please keep the ummah in our prayers...and ask for His guidance to keep us on the right path. To give us a sincere heart to forgive people. Ask Him to lift whatever burden...in our hearts.