Friday, February 17, 2017

Regrets

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It's five years from now. The day when the old friend re-united, the girl was holding a pile of books from library and the guy was casual in plaid shirt. It feels like the good old days...

"How are you?"

"It has been a long time... very good.  You?"

"Yeah.." He tapped his shoe on the floor, "Do you remember everything I told you before? About how much I admire you?" I knew it... I knew it... But she keeps her heads up, holding her pride as high as she could.

There was a distant silence between both of them as if a wall of bricks just block their way from each other, "No, but I remember every word you said since you left.", said her pride, breaking the silence like a shattered glass.

"It's too late, isn't it?" She knew he had been looking at her hand just now; in which there lies silver ring upon her finger. He forced a smile as she looked away, holding her tears from streaming down her cheeks. She bit her lower lips as her eyes trembled. She bet herself her face must have turned as red as beet. She knew if she didn't she must have been crying for thousand years.

"Can I ask you a question?" His tone laden with resignation.

She nodded, even though she wasn't even sure if she, herself, is ready to hear or answer whatever question he is about to ask. "Does a fool like me ever deserve a second chance?"

"Why?" A tear fell down her cheek, she wiped. "Why do they need a second chance anyway?" She muttered.

"I am a fool. Do I deserve a second chance?"

"I love him." No, she loves you. And she still does.

"You're lying." He couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Why would I lie for loving my fiancรจ? For pride? Huh?" Yes, dear.. for the sake of your pride. You lied.

He stood there in frozen motion. He stopped breathing for awhile trying to recall as much as he can to prove her as many clues. "Did you forget our promise? Never lie to each other ever again? To correct me whenever I do wrong?"

"I was being honest"

"You lied twice..." He knew.

"... I can't. It's too hard, too hurt."

"That is why..."

"Why now... I thought it was ended. And I never heard from you anywhere since that day. Now that I am about to marry him... you showed up."

"I was afraid... of rejections." She looked away, hands clutched. "Because you're my biggest fear."

"You should've told me a long time ago." And now that chasm between them felt even deeper and darker and bigger. There was no way for them to go back to how they were before.

"Congratulations."

"I am sorry."

But unlike him, she was sorry for the things unsaid and unresolved between them. For the things that she knew herself had been hiding from him, for she is also afraid for him to know that he is also her biggest fear. She turned around to clear her head, but it became more jumbled with each step she takes because she has been battling with questions that nobody has the answers to since a few years ago.



Disclaimer: don't worry it's just a fiction! I was inspired after seeing people on the road today lollll

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