Bewitched

"But most of the times we forgot about the little things that actually mattered, 

we forgot the insignificant yet important things in our life."

October 1932.

The wind blew gently in the month of October. It hasn't been raining for a week and the leaves have dried, leaving the road untouched in a pile of red. The falling leaves made a rustling sound as she walked through the pavements carrying around a bag of groceries. It has been more than 3 weeks since she went out like this, let herself enjoying the breathtaking scenery around her because usually when she goes out she will go back as soon as she gets what she wanted.

"I always have a thing for autumn, you know?" she said.

"I thought you love winter? Because you finally have an excuse for not going outside, refusing to meet people," the guy exclaimed in, tucking his scarf inside his coat. 

Autumn is the season where she doesn't have to worry about the weather because whether it rains or not, both are still as lovely for her. Actually, she wouldn't mind walking in the rain without the umbrella and let the rain dripped down her shirt. But people will call her insane and she prefers no attention.

"Well, I do.", she smiled sheepishly, "But seeing how the color changes every year from green to red got me thinking about the things that I used to overlook. Change is beautiful, pain is beautiful. Besides, wouldn't it be a perfect time to read a book in the park?"

"You and your fairytales," she and her fairytales, "eventually you will end up with flu for exposing yourself too much from the dust. Like me,"

She glared, turning her head towards a person who just pointing out the truth in front of her. "You be jealous 'cuz I can enjoy valuable things more than you do." 

"At least I don't need a particular reason or moment to be happy," 

"you do," the girl chuckled to herself as she walked past him, leaving the snotty guy behind trying to come up with another thought to reply. "Every emotion needs a reason. You know the hormones and all, they need a signal from the nervous system to work and, um, it does need a cause for it transmits something through your brain."

"Were you a biology teacher in your previous life?" he said jokingly.

"I don't believe in any form of reincarnation," she wondered if he actually listening.

"So we die once."

"Yeah, eventually. Anyway, don't try to change the subject."

"What do you want me to say"

"Anything. Anything that provokes my mind. Or something that you think I'd argue about," 

"You always do." He's always been intelligent and practical in his thinking, sometimes too bizarre and abstract for her understanding. His peers are mostly stupid as it wasn't quite a norm for a young boy like him to have such prominent ideas ahead of his times. 

"Okay, having said that even if you claim that you don't have any reason everything that doesn't make you feel the opposite—angry, sad, upset—is enough reason."

"Well, in fact, humans are complicated beings where we can't really measure every single thing, hence we waste a lot of time thinking about the unnecessary."

"Yes, we do. But most of the time we forgot about the little things that actually mattered, we forgot the insignificant yet important things in our life. We forgot that the things that you called 'no reason' actually exist because even the smallest thing as not having a reason itself is a reason."

"But what if I told you that happiness is a state of mind? Like, it is a natural state of our being and having it blocked by negative emotions such as fears and anxiety will finally give you a reason to be sad or anything negative. By that means, you can have a reason to be sad but not the other way around."

She paused for seconds. "If by a reason means that we should achieve, accomplish, or experience something then I would disagree with you. But if what you mean by reason is anything as small as your thoughts about yourself, you appreciating your existence in life, then yes."

"You know what, certain issues do not have a fixed answer. Sometimes all we need to do is to just appreciate and enjoy the moments while we are still present."

"Then I do agree with you."

She knew he always knows how to make a perceptive remark with an incredible judgment in a way that is almost impossible for her to deny. But this time, he let her win the argument.

i fall for souls

"I fall for raw conversation, 

those in which I know the person is not playing, 

not pretending to be someone they aren't. 

I fall for carefree, inadvertent smiles, 

those which aren't intended to impress another.

I fall for what is real.

I fall for souls, not the skin carrying it."

-The Minds Journal

Sail, Shore, and Ocean

Yeongdo-daegyo, Busan, South Korea

Thursday on the beginning of October was a well-spent night under the columns of light in South Korea. The weather was cold and stinging but Autumn is still yet to come. You told me that the sailing was delayed due to this dangerous weather, I remembered how excited you were about the idea of coming back home for a few days. And that time you asked me one more time if we could meet to spend some time around before typhoon hits Busan, or before your months worth of sailing. 

Winds and waves,
Shore and ocean,
Buildings and bridges,

All that above remind me of how you talked about your agony and hardship that you have been through all these years. About the pain that you bury inside your heart over and over again by trying to let it pass one more time. About your fear of future and your own definition of happiness. Three hours of conversation passed by like a warm breeze in a tranquil restaurant near the city lights. “You know what? There are two reasons that make me happy today, guess!” you exclaimed in, carving a big smile.

“Ummm. I think I know,” I said, “First, because you got day-offs from sailing before you get a further announcement about the typhoon effect. Second... because you can eat raw fish today?” Moving my eyebrows as I pointed out at the plate of salmon and tuna in front of us, grabbed another salmon and dipped in the salted-oil sauce. 

You told me before, it has been a long time since you ate raw fish. But suddenly you laughed hard as if you have been given all the freedom you can have in this world. “The first thing is correct,” you smiled once again, letting out a sigh so freely as if all the burden on your shoulder has been swept away. “The second is because I got to talk with you about everything today. Thank you, I am very happy today.” 

And suddenly my heart is at ease,

at least I know how it felt like,

to be able to bring someone’s smile back,

even just for a while.

Then you took me for a walk to a beautiful scene that I have never seen before, well I might have seen it but not this way. Not on this rainy day. I have never walked to the shore on a rainy day, on typhoon weather. No, not at all, not once in my life.

“I am afraid of the sea; the depth of the ocean. It’s scary.” I said and you laughed.

“There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Well, I can't swim!" you laughed again, now mocking me.

"I can swim." so what? It doesn't help me either way. Sea is scary. No further interruption. "I love the sound of the sea, it’s relaxing. I used to go here to swim when I was a kid," you stopped and pointed afar, "Do you see the green and red lights near the lighthouse?” I nodded, “that’s the navigation for ships. Look at those ships there.” 

You kept on pointing your finger like a 6 year-old-kid to all the objects that you can name one by one across the bridge enthusiastically, explained it passionately as if your life is revolved around them, although it's true. Your life is revolved around them. 

Now I have seen the sea when it’s stormy and wild; or when suddenly it’s quiet and serene. I have listened to the sound of waves crashing the rocks across the lane that we walked in along the shore. I have felt the difference in the vivid lights of skyscrapers and the raging waves that were separated by the bridge. I have noticed how the green and red lights were meant to be something important to the world that you live in. 

But the bottom line is that I can't see the ocean the way it used to be, for I realized that everything has turned into something meaningful and beautiful. At least not in my life, but maybe somebody else's life.

And maybe, too, this world is the only place 
where I get the chance to learn about people from a wider perspective 
and be less judgemental about other people's life.

***
p.s:
This one is non-fiction based on my experience with my friend, thank you for teaching me a lot of lesson without you even realized. I hope you are doing well there in the ocean!

Soul...mate?

Prophet (pbuh) said: “Souls are like crowds which gather together. 

The ones who met before get along well. 

The ones who did not meet before, cannot get along very well and separate.” 

(Bukhari, Anbiya, 2; Muslim, Birr, 159; Abu Dawud, Adab, 19). 

To: the unknown

Your soul color shall be a deep dark blue with a hint of silver. Your true colors are interchangeable, a collection of complexities that I will never fully comprehend.

It will be free and vulnerable;
the rockets of desire;
sincere but complex. 

It will attract my mind that is only captured by the uncommon and solitary individual. The few one who is willing to drag their mind out of this world and go beyond the limit. My eyes would have seen a lot of things, from the way your words shall ignite my own to the way you hide away your crown.Your thoughts are deep and I beseech. Through you, I will find pieces of myself that were once tied with yours before we were born in this world. We might not know yet, but the love remains old and e c h o e s in the world before lifetimes. 

But all that matters is that someday I will find out that you have grown more than I ever had since all the years before we meet. And you should know that you deserve a whole lot more in the future that has been written only for the soul that remains untouched and truthful. Your soul is beautiful.

And remember that my prayers are for thou,
the heart has been longing for.

[04.28 am, dorm room, full of thoughts]

Prayers, a poem

Sometimes I wonder,
whose prayers has been granted by Allah
to the point that I can achieve what I have achieved right now.

If I were only relying on my own deeds and efforts,
I would never deserve everything
and anything that I have today.

Sometimes I wonder,
if I am deserving
of all the prayers that my mom always recites for me
in secrets at day and night.

Even if I dedicate my whole life
to payback what she always did to me,
I would forever be incapable
of doing the exact same thing.

For the prayers that reached the heavens,
knocked the door of His abundant mercy
For the prayers that we are aware or unaware of,
known or unknown.

For the people whose prayers are sincere,
who constantly prays to our ummah in silence,
know that even if no one acknowledges you
Allah knows, and that should be enough for us.

He has blessed us with so many things
that we didn't even pray for
He has protected us from so many things
we didn't know about.

For the people whose heart is attached to Allah,
for those who are content with our religion
I wish that Allah will bless you with His mercy,
love and guidance,
and anything that you deserve
in this dunya and hereafter.


[August 26th, 2018. 2.16 a.m, Busan Al Fatah Masjid]

tenebris

when you get to know me,
you will enter a galaxy
with worlds of endless

passion & affection
hopes & dreams
burning desires

also sometimes 
you will stare into a black hole,

but don't be scared by my demons
when they welcome you with

paradox & uncertainty 
coldness & confusion
long-lost mind.

Cassiopeia

Once upon a time, somebody loved t-he gravity so much.
He was a whisper of blue, colour me intrigued.
He was an ice in the desert; fire in the glaciers.
He was the star that redrew the cosmos in the expanding universe.
He made her look at the stars differently, to the names of constellations.
It was true. Not an exaggerating black nor a pretentious white.
Six-feet deep, I am at the edge of the stellar black hole.
I've seen this raw strength only once before;
untamed power and beyond that, something hidden.
Although stars continued to collide
in the universe that is no longer infinite and immutable.
Even if one day, mankind's descendant will gaze at the night sky
and see a starless carpet of perfect black.
I don't know. I never knew.
Should the gravity collapse,
may the Force will always be with you.

***
WOw, does it sound a bit cheesy, eh? Forgive me, my Lord.
This is nothing. Just a glimpse of thoughts at midnight, I just need to pour it all out.
Oh, and this, too, will be the last post in 2017. Welcome, 2018. Be good to me.

{ royal pains ♛ }

battles raged, rebels revolted

jewelry crowned on the cold throne

my soul cheers in glory

the diadem of diamonds and bloody red sapphires

should the glass shattered

scattered fragmented pieces cut through the vein;

revealing my blood in black ruby

"i am the queen of the empire!"

[2.34 am // heavy rain and thunder]

v a g u e

                            it took seconds to realize
the scarcity in the distance between

        how you quiver,

                when the mouth dries

   and how you groan,

        when cold hugs you tight

    i barely know,

what is going on

                           for the truth, is yet to find

          and the reality,

seems knocked you down

   for you're a disease,

                             a virus; so devastating

            begging, thirsting, craving

slowly sinking and wasting

                        since the beginning

[1.49 am // quite windy]

Childhood Romance

He told me I was Venus.

I don't understand what he meant, he said he just like that name. So, I said yeah and called him 'astronaut', with terms and condition. In my definition, it is supposed to be a person who would never step his feet on Venus unless he determines to burn in flames. He never did understand the literal meaning.

8.00 a.m is when he told me he likes my laugh; the way my big front baby teeth appeared as I open my jaw, exhales the air out. I know that was gross and he was weird to adore that. I asked him why and he said "It's cute. Your dimples." I frowned and told him that I only have one. He giggled sheepishly, "One in your left cheek, the other one is only visible to me." I rolled my eyes in disgust.

At February 14th, he brought me white roses, bear, and chocolates. My friends were cheering and my teachers were asked me to accept it. But, I cried and threw him rocks, ended up spending my whole day in the principal's room (I wish I had the pic). I never liked surprises ever since. It wasn't because I hate him or anything, but it was absolutely ridiculous. We were only 7. What did he expect!?

The roses were nowhere to be found. The chocolates were shared with the whole class instead (they were very happy tho!). And I kept the teddy bear, as I have promised his mom to at least keep that. (note: I gave the plushie away for charity for Mt. Merapi Explosion in 2005, thanks, it was finally useful)

In grade 4, an incident happened. He was transferred to another school and I never knew where he is until now. He never bids me goodbye or anything, not even a chance for me to clarify things. I was mute the whole day, knowing that he was going to leave me miles away is pretty exhilarating and somewhat intoxicating.

I realized things only after his leaving. He was always there in the canteen, struggling to use his chopsticks. His face would turn red as he gave up and use his hands to eat. He would be there in the library at my lonely times, bringing my favorite orange juice in a carton box. He would sit beside me, asking me to read his favorite Winnie-The-Pooh Bedtime Stories because he still doesn't know how to read. I urged him to learn how to read but he ignored, saying "It sounds better if you are the one who reads it for me." I rolled my eyes again, but he was too nice for bringing me orange juice, so I nodded instead.

It has been 10 years and I wish I could tell him what has always been on my mind. I was only his Pluto. In the end, I was abandoned and is no longer considered to be in his solar system. He thought I never liked him the way he does. Little did he know, 

he was wrong too.

For I also love him dearly, 

as a friend.

DISCLAIMER: It's NOT referring to someone or ANYONE. :)

#WKWKKWKWKWKW #fictionfictionfiction #someeventsarereal #mychildhoodisajoke #donttakeitseriouslyplzz #creativewritingpurposeonly

Portia, to the Knight.

[Sunday, 17th November 1986. 11:34 pm. Location: unidentified, yet]

I built a wall, a fortress so high, that keeps me a prisoner of my own mind. I came back to the day where I've been told all the pretty things you think I need to hear. You're right, they wind themselves around my ears and brittle bones; creating a new flesh of me. But you're wrong too, it didn't affect me the way you thought. Had you ever been straightforward, I would not have stepped any further.

We are two muted gray figures of a silhouette, stopped between two panels of lights. To the fingers dancing past 2 a.m. I told you I wasn't into it I was a denial, but you dragged me along until I drowned in a sea of lures. I was spellbounded! Captivated! Enchanted!

You told me once, "Amor vincit omnia", and the time stopped for a while.

Someone should have reminded me, not to fall in love or fall in fools (I am not quite sure); for I have, and wounded my knee into benevolent promises. I struggled to orbit, freaking lost my axis.

After all that happened, I decided to build the walls even higher than I could ever imagine. I regret the things I have said upon the blisters. Sometimes I talk to myself about the things I wish I could take back for I no longer have a chance to transmit the signals anymore. Now that it's gone, I just realised how much I need them.

Don't ask me to write a poem anymore. Believe me when I said all those things, I meant it. It's not that I hate the things that happened, but I hate myself for doing what I shouldn't. I blamed myself, I used to..

But then I remember why I started, and I know why it never worked out with anyone else.

The shadow behind your cape,
Portia.

The things that fall

Knock knock;

Once upon a time, a peaceful day bright blue skies

A poem lovely as a tree, clinging the warmth upon the ties

Shivering birds beneath the eaves, leaps laughing the quite hill

2 a.m of sleepless nights, dance beneath the stars

I discovered constellations I have yet to find

"...as the plant that never blooms, but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers."

Things that fall: petals, snowflakes, sparks, shadows

Tick tock;

The blue gone grey, past the glow of your lamp

Day is cold, dark, and dreary; it rains and the wind is never weary

Rain falls a few drops, sliding down your window

To the wet soil it sinks in, let the thunder overtakes

Burst out in a heavy storm, against the glass

The moon split in half and the stars crumbled

"I'm just bones and questions and leave me for something solid."

Things that fall: stars, eyelids, teardrops, snowflakes

Stop stop;

Dark days have been told, stumbling upon a holy clock

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining

The time has come, for I built the walls around

Though it carved, into my veins

I draw the line of determination of desperation

"...straightforwardly, without complexities or pride."

Poems are made by fools like me, in some days that must be dark and dreary

And all the things that fall: are the things that fall towards gravity, 

and I.


[15.03.17, 4.11 p.m]

"Hey Boo," she said

August 1989

The wind blew in a circular motion forming an acceleration of a thin whistle. Just in the right speed. The clouds stayed in its place, always out of my reach. The sun photons always consistent emitted its ray out of the space from day to day. Reaching the small holes of the clouds through the white-cast of enchanting sparks. The moon, on its turn to play hide and seek, it exists but unseen. The stars too, I mean the other star farther than the sun, they were hiding between invisible-cloak like skies.

"Hey Boo," She said, stretching her hand out of her pocket and took out an opened can of tuna. Two tuna to be precise, each for two cats standing before her. The cats made their way to the can and licked the flesh hesitantly. One lick, two licks... three licks. Until they are sure enough it doesn't contain anything that would have killed them in seconds. 

"Eat well, Boo,"  Their small ears reached the ground, itchy maybe? They ate it all in less that two minutes, the young girl chuckled, "I should have brought you two cans, eh, or three? But that's enough for today my friends, I'll bring you more tomorrow." she caressed their soft furs, a combination of a brown, white, and black dotted whatever pattern. She played with them a few minutes before she stood up and left. The cats were following her, although she told them to stop. Well, they did stop, but followed her again, rubbed their puffy cheeks on each of her legs. Begging and acting cute, don't want her to leave the place. Just like me.

I was observing her since the 5th day, two weeks after I caught her glance. I am scary, no, I am just... observing. I still remember how she looked that day, looking innocent and always put the smile on her face. A smile that anyone would die for, well at least for me. She always looks happy, wherever she is, around her friends or even with the cats. I don't think she ever realized that. I wonder if she ever been sad, though.

She looks as if she has all the angels cheering up for her when time gets rough or things get harsh. My life too, but she is 93% percent of stardust, heaven-made human. Earth is too tough for her. Even being a guy like me, the earth is still too tough. I don't even think she is made for this world, perhaps she was brought to a wrong place?

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Oh anyway, 'the story series' POV always changed from time to time, that's why you might be confused. Whose POV? Your guess. Have fun figuring out which:))) lol

Shields

I stood amid the roar; upon the flames
Opened the door in answer to a knock
Souls went deep in visions of lone acre enchantments
I found you by the eyes within the approaching dark
The brains denied, nul besoin de paroles
I stepped aside but there is nowhere to go
Nonetheless I have found my home
I am no coming back
Et ex mente tota; semper fidelis.

[1.03.2017 - f.a]

Regrets

It's five years from now. The day when the old friend re-united, the girl was holding a pile of books from library and the guy was casual in plaid shirt. It feels like the good old days...

"How are you?"

"It has been a long time... very good.  You?"

"Yeah.." He tapped his shoe on the floor, "Do you remember everything I told you before? About how much I admire you?" I knew it... I knew it... But she keeps her heads up, holding her pride as high as she could.

There was a distant silence between both of them as if a wall of bricks just block their way from each other, "No, but I remember every word you said since you left.", said her pride, breaking the silence like a shattered glass.

"It's too late, isn't it?" She knew he had been looking at her hand just now; in which there lies silver ring upon her finger. He forced a smile as she looked away, holding her tears from streaming down her cheeks. She bit her lower lips as her eyes trembled. She bet herself her face must have turned as red as beet. She knew if she didn't she must have been crying for thousand years.

"Can I ask you a question?" His tone laden with resignation.

She nodded, even though she wasn't even sure if she, herself, is ready to hear or answer whatever question he is about to ask. "Does a fool like me ever deserve a second chance?"

"Why?" A tear fell down her cheek, she wiped. "Why do they need a second chance anyway?" She muttered.

"I am a fool. Do I deserve a second chance?"

"I love him." No, she loves you. And she still does.

"You're lying." He couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Why would I lie for loving my fiancè? For pride? Huh?" Yes, dear.. for the sake of your pride. You lied.

He stood there in frozen motion. He stopped breathing for awhile trying to recall as much as he can to prove her as many clues. "Did you forget our promise? Never lie to each other ever again? To correct me whenever I do wrong?"

"I was being honest"

"You lied twice..." He knew.

"... I can't. It's too hard, too hurt."

"That is why..."

"Why now... I thought it was ended. And I never heard from you anywhere since that day. Now that I am about to marry him... you showed up."

"I was afraid... of rejections." She looked away, hands clutched. "Because you're my biggest fear."

"You should've told me a long time ago." And now that chasm between them felt even deeper and darker and bigger. There was no way for them to go back to how they were before.

"Congratulations."

"I am sorry."

But unlike him, she was sorry for the things unsaid and unresolved between them. For the things that she knew herself had been hiding from him, for she is also afraid for him to know that he is also her biggest fear. She turned around to clear her head, but it became more jumbled with each step she takes because she has been battling with questions that nobody has the answers to since a few years ago.

Disclaimer: don't worry it's just a fiction! I was inspired after seeing people on the road today lollll

He, the untold story

Allah always knows how to teach His servants in a way that sometimes feels magical yet impossible. Ever since it has ended, I realised how Allah had always been reminding me to stop but I stubborn thinking that it would be a happy ending soon. It took me three years or so to finally understand the situation I actually am in for I finally could comprehend cold-headedly that what happened that day in the first year of high school was absolute nonsense and a complete utter bullshit. I thought it was just a matter of time but yeah lol it was.

It was not so long after the unexpected hello after all those empty stares. I wonder how you lured me in for so long. I must be wrong-spelt. Well, but I am grateful it wasn't more than that. Had it never ends, I would never stop continue thinking that way. As long as I could recall, he was all funny lies disguised in sweet lines. I wonder how did you even get the idea to make up the lies? Making me sounded like I was all crazy about you? Victim-blaming yourself? Jeez. I feel bad that's only in your head.

Astaghfirullah. 

Why did I waste my time?

Déjà vu

There were times 

when everything felt so unsure 

and the other time it felt so certain

I didn't know 

how everything felt close 

yet distant– 

whether it was a real beginning 

or more as though remembering 

some sort of Déjà vu

I believed and didn't believe

because not all paths join

We know too well
that a situation

could change one's mind

However, 

every whisper 

brings me closer 

to a long list 

of impossible conclusions

Sometimes I thought
as if I have given so much
to things that
weren't worth 

my time, 

but,

who am I to blame?

1980s poems

It has been more than a month since the very first conversation I had with the young girl I met, if you remember, that girl whom her hobby is staring at the sky and said that it was pitch black. The sky is pitch black, she said. I know, neither did I understand what she was saying.

Today I met her again, this time she wasn't looking at the sky but instead, papers. Well, book. Book consists of papers right? It was a copy of classic poems compilation in 1980s era she was holding tightly with her little pale hands. She really is a weird being, perhaps that's why nobody could keep up with her, I insist.

She put her book down and glanced at me. She waved, I startled. "Me?" there was no sound coming out of my mouth anyway, it was just me talking to myself.

"How are you, old friend?" She smiles the brightest smile I have ever seen in my whole life. But hey anyway, did she just say that we are friends?

Your smile stakes a claim

on my past.

I laugh and talk small

as if the tunnels

through our hearts

had never been connected,

as if I had no claim to stake

on any part of you.

"Grand. And you, friend?"

"I was kidding." I let out a chuckle. Nodding, telling her I knew what she means so that she doesn't have to worry about it. She laughed.

"Poems?" She nodded. "Isn't it boring?"

"It is," she paused as she flipped through the pages, "...for those who doesn't understand the meaning."

Silence filled the void between us. She didn't say anything, nor did I. "I don't know your name. I am Glove."

"I don't have a name. But you can call me Fox."

"So, both of us made a name of 'Foxglove'..."

"Poisonous?"

"I guess we are." I never understand her words.


Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, 

Black as the pit from pole to pole, 

I thank whatever gods may be 

For my unconquerable soul. 

In the fell clutch of circumstance 

I have not winced nor cried aloud. 

Under the bludgeonings of chance 

My head is bloody, but unbowed. 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears 

Looms but the Horror of the shade, 

And yet the menace of the years 

Finds and shall find me unafraid. 

It matters not how strait the gate, 

How charged with punishments the scroll, 

I am the master of my fate, 

I am the captain of my soul. 

{William Ernest Henley}

The Sky

One day, I met a young girl stood by herself. She looked up at the sky as she traced her hand following the clouds above our heads. Her face was flat; I could see no emotion. But somehow, out of nowhere, I could feel as if she is that one cheerful being. Or maybe she was, I thought.

I kinda approached her, made my way next to her hesitantly. She didn't move a little. I sighed, doing the same thing as her, looking at the sky.

"The sky is always blue, isn't it?" I rambled.

"No."

"Okay..."

"It's pitch black."

"What?"

"Pitch black." She looked down, turning her head towards me, "The sky is pitch black. That's why I look at the sky every day."

"I don't get it?"

"I wish I could put all of my thoughts in a jar. I hate the nights where I feel so hollow inside; empty and out of place. Did, it made me happy," she sighed, heavily breathe, "but for some unknown reason, it scares me. That's what crossed my mind the very first second of whatever circumstances lies behind."

"Wow. I don't know. You're very much a talker..."

"Surprised?"

"A little."

"Good then. I rarely do that."

"I know... but why, me, all of sudden?"

"Do you think I never realized that you've stopped by looking at me probably wondering why this girl out of nowhere staring at the sky since forever?"

"I do. Sorry..." I kept fidgeting, feeling as unsure as I may seem, "..if I bother you."

"Not at all." I stared, not sure what she was talking about. "I've been waiting too."

"Waiting?" I asked as she nodded her head, smiling by her heart.

"Yeah.."

"I am all ears." I was trying to convince her.

"It's not the right time for you to know," she smiled, "see you."

I frowned and froze. The time suddenly stopped for a few seconds and I still couldn't get whatever she was saying. That long words she said in the beginning, it shocked me somehow. It was too much for my mind to process. Whatever she might be thinking; whatever intention she had when she said that to me, or perhaps nothing at all. It was good to know, anyway...


Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction.