Thursday, October 03, 2013

Stressed


I am not stressed out, but I do love desserts.
Well um I am stressed out, I have exams next week and I am still playing !!!

Eh.
Hey guys it's funny I just type "I have exams next week" on google.
And ping! *entry popped up* Someone just asked on Yahoo! Answer this question:
I have exams next week and I don't know how to prepare !? Help!!
lol silly.
Haha jk, God bless you.
/scrolling through the answers/
So...
You just helped buddy. *even though I didn't read the entire*
Love you guys bye I have to take a breath and let my brain decide /?

Monday, September 30, 2013

Firmoo Giveaway Winners

Hey guys, the Firmoo Giveaway is now officially closed!
There were 59 valid competitors who joined, it means there will be one more lucky winner! Yay! And now I've got the name of the winners already! *ba dum tss* The winners are picked randomly by Random.org . The first and second name appear will get a free pair glasses without shipping, and the third name is the lucky one who will get a free pair glasses including shipping!!
For the winners, I'll send you email as soon as I get the codes to be used on Firmoo.com .
By the way, thank you for everyone who joined this giveaway, I really appreciate your efforts!
So.... let me announce the winner. And the winners are......... *drumrolls*
a Rafflecopter giveaway

CONGRATULATIONS!!
Two winners without shipping
#2123 Wilma Viguilla Garcia
#87 Catarina Martins

One winner including shipping
#1051 Pyon Aya

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Firmoo International Giveaway 2013! [CLOSED]

Hello my beloved readers!! And happy Swift-Day for Swifties! ^^
I recently got my left eye blurry, I might be too often use computers and mobile phones more than 2 hours per day. I just can't get rid of Twitter and games, many people can't. It's like drugs. By the way, I'm so excited because I hit 100 followers. As soon as I reached 100 followers I've planned to thank you all by hosting my very first giveaway! 

This giveaway is open INTERNATIONALLY until September 30, 2013, so wherever you are you can also participate this giveaway! This giveaway is sponsored by Firmoo Global Online Optical Store (click : Firmoo.com) ! I started to read some reviews from people about Firmoo. They said Firmoo is the best affordable glasses website and they satisfied with the quality, prices, and services. I thought it would be great to giving away my readers a chance to win a pair of fashionable glasses! Prescription and non prescription also available in here!

What is Firmoo?


Firmoo is the World's Most Popular Online Eyeglasses Store. We have always been committed ourselves to offering customers the best quality products at the most affordable prices which start at 8 dollars- 80%-90% lower compared to that in local store. Furthermore, Firmoo has launched First Pair Free Program for new customers to test our products and service for free by paying shipping only.


** PRIZES **

So we are giving away.....*drumroll* two pairs of eyeglasses/sunglasses without shipping for two winners!! The glasses/sunglasses are selected here. Eyeglasses include 1.50 single vision lenses and sunglasses include zero-powered lenses! 
Exciting thing is that if we reach over 50 valid participants, they'll give us one more glasses to win for one luckiest winner!! So there will be 3 winners in total! Remember, there will be 3 winners if we reach 50+ valid participants. Share this giveaway and join now! ^^ 
Aye aye..... Firmoo also offers a free pair of glasses for a new customers as Firmoo First Pair Free Program!! You can check it on Free Glasses Page for further information.

Unisex acetate full frame eyeglasses
Unisex acetate full frame eyeglasses

PLEASE USE RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY BELOW !

Friday, July 26, 2013

Complicated - Part 1 {Fiction}

Hello I am a grade 9 student now!!! and I am happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical. So, um UN 2014 is closer... And I really have to work harder for this cause I don't want to replay the same mistakes. Pardon me of every single things I did and pray for me puh-lease :) By the way I'm so happyyyyyyyy that CHELSEA was here at Indonesia and play against Indonesia All Star at GBK. Unfortunately, I have to stayed at home and I was chanting like a weirdo as long as they play. I am not fully satisfied bcs there's no Torres, Mata, Oscar, Luiz, and other players that was playing for Confederations Cup. Oh and Lampard & Cech didn't play yesterday :( So sad. But at least I could see Hazard, Lukaku, Ramires, Ivanovic, etc. It was a good game, though not special bcs there's less of attack from Indonesia. I hope it will be another lesson so Timnas Indonesia will be better and better. The full time ended with 8 goal for Chelsea and 1 own goal for Indonesia. I just knew that the coach and one of player from Indonesia is the blues. And I really love the 3rd kit 2013/2014; it's not black. it's blue.


Blue is the color, football is the game
We're all together and winning is our aim
So cheer us through to the sun and rain
Cause Chelsea.. Chelsea is our name

Oh and by the way... I make a fiction series, the first part is down below... I'm a bit confused to name the title, so I named it "Complicated". Hehehe....

***********************************************************************

Part 1 – Freshman Year

It was a warm sunny day in September, the lights even brighter than the sun. She has been waiting for this day, a brand new day in the freshman year as a college student. She wears her best shirt and jeans, and do her brunette in side braid like Katniss Everdeen.

Kara wasn’t one of the smart and diligent one, she’s not really good at almost all subtitles. But don’t ask me how good she is in music and theatre. This university has the most famous choir and theatre club. That’s why she always waiting for this day for years because this is the only way to reach her dream.

But she still had to follow math and science classes which she hates as much as she hates burritos. “I don’t understand with this university. Why we have to learn math and science, when will you think we could use algebra in real life? Do you remember when we were taught to find the x and blah blah blah in junior high school?” said Kara while walking in rush holding bunch of books towards the class.

“Me too. I just want to be a public speaker though. You know like Ellen Degeneres! Hahaha that would be crazy, I’ll have a show called ‘Rebecca Russell Show’ every Saturday night. Make sure you don’t miss every single episodes or I’ll come to your house and make you pay!”

“Interesting. And I’ll be like ‘Oh my God! oh my God! Rebecca Russell has just visited my house ‘cause I miss one of her show’ Hahahaha!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll invite you to my show someday. Hahaha! Of course to sing your favorite songs in junior high school, ‘The Adam Higuain’ song.”

“Oh my God that nerd! I heard he went here to, didn't he?”

“Yes, and he took Natural Science which is including astrophysics, pathology, pharmacology, plant sciences, zoologi, genetics, chemistry, biochemi—wait, there he is!”

Suddenly, Kara hit a guy and the books falling. “I’m sorry I don’t know you were there. It’s heavy. Sorry.” said Kara politely—just in case if he is one of the sophomore, remember it’s their first day. The guy just glance at her. “Sorry, I am Kara Thornfield—freshman.”

“I don’t ask for your name. Stupid.” And he just walked away like nothing has happened.

“What did he want!!? Not apologize but called me a stupid instead!”

“Chill out, Kara...at least he is adorable.”

“So what’s the point of being a handsome guy but has a bad attitude?!”

“I didn’t say he was handsome...”

“There’s no difference.”

“It’s 9.15, and I think we’re in wrong way, it’s History Class.”

***
They were in a opposite direction and ran towards the Math Class. They are really in trouble on their first day. It’s not good.

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Hello June! Hella BRISTALESTIC !

Hello June!
Time walks so fast huh? Well , as I always said on my last post on March, too busy at school all the time. Moreover I will have exams next weekkkk!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. It's not all because I'm not ready yet, but it means I'll move to another class in grade 9 which makes me sad :(((( , counting the day, wishing the headmaster change the rules or whatevs. I'll miss them, Bristalestic, even though we can still meet everyday but it's just.... uh. Ikr I'm forget, Bristalestic is the name of my class, 8Bristalestic {Brilliant, Smart, Talented, and Fanstastic}. I loveeeeeeeeee them. *hugs*

By the way if u are one of my classmates in the previous class, then you should know why. I don't want if you then call me a selfish(even tho I am selfish) and blame me with those lies. Things you have to know are ; even though I don't want to go back to previous class doesn't mean I'm forget you, I just don't have things to say. I write this post bcs I just want them to know that I really love 'em, I do.

It was really great to meet 'em, they really know how they should be around me. Best classmate ever. I remember the very first week in 8Bristalestic, it was really quite. Really quiet. Until the second week, it was like..........asdfghjkl so awful. I remember when we held the first "gowes" (?), riding bicycle together to certain place. They were going to Candi Sambisari and went fishing together. Unfortunately, I couldn't come because my parents didn't allow me. Urggh.



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Otome Games! ไน™ๅฅณใ‚ฒใƒผใƒ 

Hey!
Feeling so sad can't update this blog since the last post on 2012, doesn't mean I didn't check this blog. Yes, I frequently open this blog to check out who are leaving comments or who are now following me. Thanks! I've planned to publish a New Year Post but I didn't. Too lazy and too busy to sitting in front of the computer for more than an hour, it hurts my eyessss. I was having a lot of hard day, homeworks, tasks, and everything, I just can't get rid of it. I have a lot of things to tell you, but seems I can't, I lost the note. I forgot. Heheee~~~ You may didn't notice, but I have changed this blog a bit. No, not the template (will be change it soon.), not either the font or everything like that. I'm just make a decisions last week... a big decision for my entire life and the day after tomorrow, the afterlife, or whatever. I don't have to say it, just if you're notice. I wish it's a right decision.

By the way, I'm getting so addicted to Otome Games lately. Omg it drives me crazy. A lot. Right, Otome Games(ไน™ๅฅณใ‚ฒใƒผใƒ  otome gฤ“mu) is a video game that is toward to a female market, where one of the main goals, besides the plot goal, is to develop a romantic relationship between the female player character and one of several male, or occasionally female characters. It's a visual novels, which is you as the main player determine the direction of the story by choosing the option. Actually, the only thing makes me fully addicted to Otome Games beside the plot is...the admirable guys!! x)) Manga guys are cute.

The very first game I played is from Voltage, Inc, "In Your Arms Tonight" (You can download it in Play Store). Sadly, I could just play the Prologue, which is free, and I instantly addicted! It costs about $4 each character (they provides up to 6 characters). In the main story, we can choose who we can get along with, even all (but yet we still have to pay). Same as the main story, we still have to pay if we want to play the Epilogue. So, I'm going to tell you each of series I have played. *cough*



Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hatred is Madness of the Heart ~ Lord Byron


H-E-Y

You know, every new post I always start with "Hey!" "Hello!" "I miss this blog blah blah blah.." and act like oh-I-miss-this-blog-so-much , but right now I don't feel like to use that strange-awkward-creepy-happy voice, I mean just for now and maybe some other day. Although God gave me a lot of valuable moments, chances, and surprises this month, I also face a lot of problems (not much, i'm just exaggerating) which a lot of people don't know. They don't know much about me, they just pretend. It's not a big probs, it's just me which makes it bigger, don't you ever do that too? So that everyone would keep watching on you, and they say nice words for you such as "are you okay?" "tell me, maybe I can help you." "it's okay, (your name)..." "It's not your fault, it's......" "I don't mean to bother you, but, would you like to tell me what's happening?" "God always beside you, don't worry." and so on. It doesn't mean I dislike those words which most of them are a lie, a fake attention  pure-hearted attention. I hope you don't misunderstanding, those words are nice and makes me feeling better, I mean "thanks for your (I hope it's not fake) attention". Please be honest, have you ever give true attention you gave to your friends which in heart-breaking moments? I bet yes, me too. But, have you ever give a fake attention just because you want to be look nicer. K, it's actually a confession. Sometimes.

I am getting closer with some people recently and I realized something that you might have realized much time before me. As examples; have you ever feel nervous and you think someone will do better than you? Imagine you are in a concert, you were soooo nervous but when you see another participant it was like oh yeah they are good. Yeah so-so. (This is what I feel) but when my turn... I can't do this, kill me now. How if I make a mistakes and people will bla-bla-bla... They're good and I'm not. But in another side, I want to show my skill, I know I'm good enough, I know I can do that, I just want to make them proud. Always.  I told my friends how I felt (also a participant), I told them how I want to end this as fast as I can and just go home, prayed bad things so the concert will be canceled. Guess what my friend did? She told me she was as nervous as me, she thinks she can't do that(even I think she's the best, and I know she knows it) and I was like DUDE, LOOK AT YOURSELF. YOU ARE AMAZING, STOP COMPLAINING, I KNOW I'M NOT EVEN BETTER THAN YOU. I just want to be the last participant. But being the last is worse, it was like the only person who waits in the station at the midnight alone(horror movies). But in the end, we have to do it whatever happen. I'm remembering my experiences, mix it. I remember a lot of quote say : you are depends on what you think. So I start think deeply, find out what the actual meaning of that quote. No..no.. I use my brain because I didn't found it on google, ouch. I don't know the real meaning but...I think we are what they think about me, it same like they are depends on what we think. I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN WHAT I WANT TO SAY. Just if you know what I mean.

I really want to share the story in detail, but I can't because I think it's too private and hurt others. I just hate it...I hate it so much when my anger turns into tears. I feel weak. A small anger starts from mood, bad mood destroys everything, and you know why girls get badmood easily...yeah. Before you judge me because someone judge me, I don't  want you think if I never judge someone who might have judge someone. Complicated. Hell-yeah I know we must have did that or maybe right now doing that. But whatever, nobody's care & nobody's perfect. We say "don't judge the other" when ourselves judging others. We say "Slap two faces of a hypocrite.", now who has two faces? As I said...we ever did that. Me too. And sometimes I feel hypocrite when I think I always do the right things at all...when I actually not. Nobody wants to claim themselves as a wrong person at all. Some of them maybe don't want to claim themselves wrong, even when they totally wrong. They will always  think they have did a good job. Not all. I don't want to judge just in the dark side which you can easily say "HAHA you just judge them in one side!! stupid.". In another side, judging and being hypocrite is somehow good. WHAT?! WHICH PART IS GOOD?! 
Before I tell you my opinion. According to dictionary...
    judg-ment  noun
1.an act or instance of judging. 
2.the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, esp. in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion: a man of sound judgment.
    hyp-o-crite noun

  1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral orreligious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she doesnot actually possess, especially a person whoseactions  
  2. belie stated beliefs.a person who feigns some desirable or publiclyapproved attitude, especially one whose private life,opinions, or statements belie his or her publicstatements.

source : google

THIS IS WHAT I GOT.
1. Critical thinking.
2. You don't know how people think about you before someone is judge you. Hey, don't you want to be a better human? Self-assessment.
3. You know who has two faces. *meme face*
4. You can make a decision.

Poor me. I'm forget what I'm going to write actually. Smh.



yeah, that's true. Love takes our tears.
By the way, WE ARE SO CLOSE TO NEW YEAR 2013!! okay I know...I know...I'm so sad. So damn sad. I don't have any plan for new year, this year doesn't like the past few years. First, I don't gather with my big fam, they do their own bussiness. And I'm here just with my mom, dad, and lil bro. Maybe I'll celebrate new year with my grandma & grandpa, I know it will be super boring. But somehow it's just good. And about my fam, they're stay in Jakarta and I'm not going to Jakarta this year. The other thing which makes me so disappointed is...Miss KidZania Jakarta 2009-2011 is held a reunion TODAY. I wonder how happy they are, ah I miss them so much. Although I'm not a winner, yea just a semi-finalist but at least I got experiences.

Talking about 2013, I often see a lot of people do "wishlist" every months. And as long as I remember maybe I'm just joining one or maybe two hashtag which tell our wishlist. Not long after that I'm just thinking, why we have to do that wishlist every month and write it on Twitter. I mean, if we want our wish granted...we can pray and try, not by write it on Twitter. But that's ok, there is no harm in it right? So, why don't we try to write our wishlist for 2013. (I bet people will write their wishlist soon.). I've set up a plan for 2013, I hate it so much when sometimes I made a plan that didn't go well. I would love to do craft, yeah did it sometimes; paper, recycling, styrofoam, unwanted stuffs. When they day came... "ok, I'll do it tomorrow...tomorrow...yeah next week maybe." and end up with do nothing but Twitter instead. I wish I could do quality activities in the upcoming holidays, doesn't like this holiday which just end up with sleep, eat, twitter-ing ( a lot) , and watching movies... so wasting time! I also hope that I will have some Chelsea FC Stuffs next year. I don't want anything but happiness!

Guys, what's your plan for 2013? :) SEE YA ON THE NEXT YEAR! HAPPY NEW YEAR! *lotsaluv*

image source : google, tumblr

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Goodbye 13, Hello 14!

"December 2nd 2012"

Heyaaaa! Uh after almost 2 months I didn't show up here, yeah you know students task; exam, exam, exam, homework, sleep, eat, play, twitter-twitter-twitter. I miss you already and I bet you don't miss me ya? WHO WANTS TO READ THIS STUPID WEIRD BLOG. lol. But it doesn't matter, I will always love you guys, as always :') unrequited love. HAHA no. Although I don't post anything, I still read your comments(which is about follow and some compliments&insults) and replying those e-mails in my inbox, oh and of course Twitter everyday. (now I know why I got bad grades, it's YOU; Twitter.) I post this with reasons, it's because my 14th birthday on December 2nd 2012 (read: 2-12-2012)! I love 2012! It's a good date, really a good date, but it's not as good as that. First, at monday I have an exam. Second, there is no difference with today and another day. Three, I wake up earlier than my parents, so the surprise is somewhat chaotic. 

Anyway, there are a lot of things I miss. I don't get a wishes from one of my special person, it's Yoya; Aurora Desi Ananda. I don't know where she is, we both don't know (me and beyi; BerlianaFaradisa), we are so close. But one of us was just like...gone. Make it bigger, Feb.  Well if you read it as you know, we don't care for who you are and about your real name. It doesn't matter, as long as you're nice, we are ready to see you again. Whatever happen with you. Do you remember my birthday? It's today, and the next day is Beyi's. You don't remember? You forget us, do you? And your birthday...will be at December 13th. We used to talk like an idiot. I remember the jokes. (read this post: Thirteenth Birthday! ). After the tragedy, which I don't want to remember, I have felt something different with you, YOU... slowly stay away from us until the day. BAM! You gone. Ah, and those friends who hate her. As you know...whoever she is, I still care.
Sooooo....let's forget it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS YEAR, DEAR 13!
It was an amazing year and so impressive. It was just fascinating; all the single day. Every day was valuable for me. And I had a lot of new experiences with "13". I can't forget what I've been through last year. Thanks 13!

It's so sad I can't post it at December 2nd instead today. I have to collect the pictures, yeaaaa the wishes! Thank you so much for it, I feel so honored and happy all the day. Especially when they put my name on their BBM Contact, it's cute. Thanks you so much, may Allah always bless you! Hell yeah December 13th is Taylor Swift's birthday,13 is one of my favorite number too! Hahaha. The difference between last year post is the language, I use slang languages there which is....weird. But that's okay, I'm still learning now. I don't know, maybe this one is quite long...long... Well, as you know, I'm still replying the wishes while i'm writing this. IT'S A SUPER BOSS FEELING. Hahaha superb, it helps me a lot because it makes me so happy...



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TSWIZZLE!
TAYLOR SWIFT MY SPARKLING FEARLESS QUEEN!
I love how you write the lyrics; touching, real life story, real love story.
I'm just wondering if someday you'll married with your prince charming. And we'll miss your teenage. And your son(s) or daughter(s) will be a superstar. 
I promise; I will introduce you to my child, how you make my life worthful. I just want to share with my child; i've become their age.
Oh Taylor, I know you'll never read this post but...I really miss your curly hair! However, you're still gorgeous with straight hair, really...
 Love youuuu !

(Swifties know why I type it with Red color.)



Another wishes...

Happy birthday for Beyi and Yoya!
Berliana Faradisa : December 5th 2012
Aurora Desi Ananda : December 13th 2012
I miss the old us, girls!
I wish I can go back, when we still together. aw.
yoya looks pale, but still cute.
it's Beyi. Just took it from her facebook page.
and happy birthday to all of the people who birth on December!

Yeah, that's it. I want to thank for all the wishes, I can't give anything but respect. Here you are some of the wishes; I'm sorry because I can't upload all the pics. It's wasting time. Hehe, but THANKS THANKS AND THANKS! :)


















Whoaaaa... oh and I was just remember, I didn't capture the wishes on my facebook, thanks for the wishes {}


"You'll find as you grow older that you weren't born such a great while ago after all. The time shortens up." -William Dean Howells

"We have no choice of what color we're born or who our parents are or whether we're rich or poor. What we do have is some choice over what we make of our lives once we're here." - Mildred Taylor

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." -Cherokee Expression

"Youth is a circumstance you can't do anything about. The trick is to grow up without getting old." -Frank Lloyd Wright.



HAVE A GREAT DAY ON DECEMBER! CHEERS!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

delicious ambiguity

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beggining, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." -Gilda Radner

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Strongest Kids with Cancer

these little warrior's
they are the warrior's though tiny by far,

who won't let cancer, change who they are.

to battle this demon, they'll go that extra mile,

with giggles and laughter and great big smiles.


yes these are the warrior's, so brave and so true,

to have one more day, with me and with you.

they are more wise then the years, that they'll never be.

they know words like remission and chemo, needle's and iv's.


this cancer it comes, like a thief in the night,

but these little warriors are ready to fight.

some go to battle and sometimes they don't win,

the pain for them is over but ours just begins.


these little warriors need a drug that will end,

this war they've been fighting, this cancer within.

they need to be able to be children again ,

to laugh and to play with their family and friends.

not lie in a hospital with tubes up their nose,

that's not how the story of these warriors goes.

how can this country have such knowledge on war,

yet we can't end the one, that their fighting for.

by Gloria Collins



CANCER.
I cried when I saw kids with Cancer. I was about to cry. haha. They are the strongest kids I've ever known. I was just keep searching and scrolling, everything about Cancer. I saw a lot of pictures of them, with no hair. But they're still look fine and happy. And that's makes me speechless. Things that makes me proud of them are.. they have strength and courage to fighting cancer I just found a lot of web who talks about Cancer, even allowing them to share their stories. You can check it HERE. There is one story that makes me interested. It was written by a mother for her daughter, Amber, she had Rhabdomyosarcoma. Here it is...

   Amber knew why she was sent to earth. A few days before she died, she called me to her side and told me, "Mom, I KNOW I'm here to help a lot of people." Although she said many wise and wonderful things in her 4 1/2 years, I was astounded. From the moment she was born, I knew I was "chosen" to be Amber's mother but the reason why was unclear. I documented our life together and especially her journey through cancer with recordings, movies, photos, media coverage, her drawings, and a journal. It helped me cope, gave me purpose, and ensured that her life and death would have meaning, even after she died. Having found Bernie Siegel to care for her, I was blessed beyond words. He helped us help her "cross the threshold" between life and death. Her death was miraculous. The moment she stopped breathing, I physically felt God... the Higher Power... the world that we cannot see with our eyes. Amber died on my 27th birthday in 1980. Before she died, she gave me the most precious gift I've ever received: The secret to what happens after our body dies. "Mom, when I die, I'll still be Amber, I'll just be DIFFERENT." Knowing that, I did not "lose a child," she did not "pass away." She simply changed. She is with me now, but different. 

For most of the 30+ years since she died, this "gift" has comforted me, given me the strength to help others, and sustained me as I dug deep to call up the feelings and emotions I needed to write "Embrace the Angel." It is now published and I am ready to, once again, reach out and spread Amber's message of "hope, heaven, and the miracle of life and death." But there is one thing holding me back. It is not her death, it is cancer. It is not the fact that she was "killed," is the the "murderer." I am trying to "wrap myself around" this horrible disease that kills so many of our loved ones. I must find peace and understanding while working to bring people together, raise awareness, and facilitate change in the "Cancer World." But how? Perhaps returning to the moment in time when my "Life Task" is the answer. After she died at home, we took her body to St. Raphael's Hospital in New Haven, CT. Bernie called ahead to make the arrangements. Excerpt from Chapter 14, Crossing the Threshold: "I walked towards the automatic doors, her lifeless body swaying to my step. Beyond the parting doors, I could see a crowd. Nurses, doctors, secretaries, visitors, priests, and nuns had gathered there to pay their last respects to this little girl—their little girl—who had fought so bravely to the very end. At once, I could see I wasn't alone, that they had suffered, too. They had hoped for her recovery, prayed for her life, and watched along with me as she slowly and painfully died. Many were crying. Their grief forced them to turn to each other for comfort. I felt no pangs of sadness or sorrow; I still felt the glory of God. I was at peace, and so was my baby. Dr. Raine, a young intern, directed us to a small room that was separated from the Emergency Room by a curtain. I placed her body on the stretcher and studied it... absorbing every inch... filling my mind with the memory of Amber. "Perfect feet... hands... lips... eyes..." I stopped at the tumor. I moved closer to inspect it. Since she wasn't there and could feel no pain, I shook it. It felt like gelatin: Soft, powerless, sickening. It was enormous; nearly the same size as her head. "How can something so pathetic... so ugly... kill my beautiful little girl?!?!" Just under my skin, seething rage was coursing through my veins. In my mind, I could see a battlefield strewn with the bodies of all the other children who had died before Amber and the bodies of children yet to come. Instantly, I felt as though I'd been injected with a tranquilizer. My hatred gave way to a new understanding. 

"Don't waste your life hating. Your time on this earth is too short. Take her message...take MY message to the world. WRITE THE BOOK. Save the others." I took a vow: "I will.


In Indonesia it happens too to Gita Sesa Wanda Cantika or Keke, the story told in Surat Kecil Untuk Tuhan(pic above) book and movie. She had Rhabdomyosarcoma, like Amber and the other strong kids. I've thoughts that maybe they're now gathered in heaven, with no cancer. Because God has took it, as Amber's mom said, "It's not her dead, it's cancer". They must be happy now, beside God. I remember when someone write on Twitter that Cancer kids need Barbie with no hair, so they'll never feel alone. And I found this on Google. Well maybe I was too late to write this article, but we're never too late to help them fighting Cancer.


Readers, you can visit this web, YKAKI (Yayasan Kasih Anak Kanker Indonesia)





"I hope there would be a day that cancer is just a horoscope."


(picture was took from Google)