経験について

今日、私の経験についてお話ししたいと思います。８年前から、私は外国の友達を作るのが好きです。その時は、英語だけを話すことができました。英語だけを話したのに、すでに多くの友達と経験を得ました。外国の友達と話すことが楽しかったと思います。私たちは合ったことがありませんので、ほとんど毎日はメールを送りました。ある時はプレゼントを送りました。

正直に言うと。。私は日本について、長い時間前から、大好きです。でも、日本語はとても難しそうと思ったので、日本語学ぶことがありませんでした。私はオタクではないですけど、アニメと日本の歌が好きです。昨年まで、私の学校では日本交換留学生がありました。話したいな、でも話しできない！ぜんぜん日本語できませんでした。ある日、彼女と話しをすることを決めました。

「すみません。日本人ですか？」なぜ私はこのような質問をしたのかと思われます。私は日本語でアメリカ人に言わせれば、愚かなことだろう。

「えーと。。。あなたの名前は何ですか？」グーグルから、いくつかのフレーズを覚えました。

「へえー！日本語できますか？」彼女はびっくりしたように見えました。なぜなら私はそれをした最初の人でした。その後、彼女は複雑な何かを言ったことにびっくりしました。何してるの、何私をしますか。。。と思いました。質問がぜんぜん分からないので、私はすぐに英語で答えました。恥ずかしかったです！その日以来、私は「日本語を学びたいです！日本語に上手になりたい！」と思います。私はずっと独学で日本語を勉強しています。日本のことをもっと知りたいです。日本人の友達をたくさん作りたいという気持ちでした。でも、なかなか話ができないから、日本語でどう言うのか分かりません。

四か月後、私は少し日本語をできます。私はどこでも日本語話せるようにしようしています。私は食べるとき、学校でとき、家でとき、バスでとき、といろいろときは日本語勉強しています。私の友達は「あなたは日本語を話す停止することができませんか？日本語分かりません！」と言いました。家で私が何かを言ったときに、私の両親は　「何ですか？？」と言いました。多分私はたくさんのことを言いました。

お母さんは私が日本語を学んだことを知っているから、私は９日２月に仮面ライダーを合いました！私は「これは私のチャンスです！私は日本語を練習します！」と言いました。行く前に、いっぱい文書を用意しました。私は渡部秀に「新劇の巨人の映画を見ました！」と言いました。これだけです。忘れてた！彼はかっこよかったです。

それから私は日本語がもっと上手になりたいと思いました。日本語を話すできる人ことが友達を作りました。友達は日本人だけでなくて、シンガポール人と韓国人そして台湾人があります。彼らは私にたくさんことを考えてくれました。私はとても幸せを感じています。いつまでも感謝の意を忘れません。

一部の人は外見を判断しますので、時々私は友達を作ることを恐れています。私はスカーフをしています。別の国からでもだれかが私に「イスラムだから。。嫌い！」と言ったがあります。びっくりしました。私は日本の好きな所は彼らの丁寧な文化です。日本人はとても親切と思います。たくさん日本人の友達を作りたいからいつか日本の大学で勉強をして。日本語を上手になりたいと思います。

#NewMyBlueBird: Pesan Taksi Lebih Gampang!

"My Blue Bird,

agar perjalananmu makin aman dan nyaman!"

Dengan semakin berkembangnya era globalisasi dan teknologi, semakin banyak perkembangan yang dilakukan untuk memudahkan kegiatan manusia hanya melalui genggaman tangan. Saat ini, smartphone sudah tidak hanya digunakan sebagai sarana komunikasi untuk telepon, sms, ataupun sosial media. Namun, dengan smartphone kita bisa memesan makanan, grocery-shopping, online shopping, bahkan untuk memesan sarana transportasi! Setiap hari kita tidak bisa lepas dengan yang namanya transportasi, entah untuk pergi ke kantor, sekolah, dan tempat-tempat lain. Transportasi umum kini menjadi salah satu pilihan yang mulai dilirik dan digemari masyarakat Indonesia. Alasannya bermacam-macam, ada yang memilih transportasi umum dengan alasan untuk mengurangi kemacetan, harga yang terjangkau, hingga kenyamanan di transportasi umum.

Semakin populernya transportasi di tengah masyarakat Indonesia, perusahaan-perusahaan transportasi semakin gencar melakukan upgrading untuk meningkatkan kenyamanan pelanggan dalam bertransportasi. Salah satunya adalah Blue Bird Group yang melakukan inovasi dengan meluncurkan sebuah aplikasi pemesanan taksi yang dinamakan My Blue Bird. Armada taksi biru ini terkenal dengan pelayanan yang berkualitas tinggi dalam melakukan mobilitas dari satu tempat ke tempat yang lain. Untuk menjaga kepercayaan pelanggan, Blue Bird selalu mengupgrade pelayanan-pelayanannya untuk meningkatkan kenyamanan dan memanjakan pelanggan. Selama saya menjadi pelanggan Blue Bird, saya belum pernah mengalami kejadian yang tidak mengenakkan, justru saya sangat puas dengan pelayanan yang diberikan. Bahkan beberapa kali naik taksi Blue Bird saya belajar banyak dari percakapan dengan driver.

Blue Bird merilis aplikasi berbasi Taxi Mobile Reservation pada  tahun 2011, kemudian Blue Bird mulai mengembangkan aplikasi My Blue Bird pada bulan Desember 2015. Aplikasi Blue Bird ini sudah dirilis dan saat ini dapat diakses di 6 kota besar di Indonesia, yaitu: Jakarta, Semarang, Medan, Bali, Surabaya, dan Bandung. Dulu, kalau mau pesan taksi harus menelepon customer service Blue Bird ke (0274) 641 1234. Nah, kalau sekarang pemesanan taksi jadi lebih mudah karena adanya aplikasi My Blue Bird! Karena integritasnya yang tinggi, baru-baru ini Blue Bird menambahkan 6 Fitur Baru lho, tentunya agar perjalananmu makin nyaman dan aman!

Apa saja fiturnya? Mari kita simak!

미안해

それを言うべきじゃなかった
何かを言ったことに分からないから
それを言った、私が尋ねた

ごめんなさい
私のせいです
尋ねるために残念だった

泣かないでください
あきらめないでください
私と話する、ありがとう

[Day 7] What is the hardest thing I've ever experienced

"I thought the hardest thing in life is about going through pain and heartbreak, when people started to say 'you can't forget your first love', then why do people forget their parents?"

I was pretty confused because...I don't know what is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I am not even experienced yet. I never see something like a burden to me. There is always ups and downs and life, and that's just how life is. People said the biggest challenge in life is marriage. I haven't experienced it yet, and I don't know if my experiences are enough to call me experienced. As a 17 years old who knows nothing about the world and have zero experience in life, I'll try to sort it out.

I thought the hardest thing in life is surviving for school, but it's not as hard as the homeless who survived on the road every day. I thought the hardest thing in life is choosing a restaurant to eat, but there are still unlucky people who don't know whether they will eat or not tomorrow. Survive from school is not that vital. I thought the hardest thing in life is saying hello and goodbye, but it's much better than never try to make a move. I thought the hardest thing in life is choosing to risk it all or walk away. I thought the hardest thing in life is deciding whether to give up or just try harder. I thought the hardest thing in life is pretending, but I am doing it quite well.

I thought the hardest thing in life is loving ourselves, but loving Allah and His messenger need a pure and sincere heart. I thought the hardest thing in life is the disappointment of failing on exams, but it is not as big as the disappointment of the parents who sees their kids leaving them as they grow up. I thought the hardest thing in life is about going through pain and heartbreak when people started to say you can't forget your first love, then why do people forget their parents? I am feeling so guilty for my parents, I've never been good doing my job as a daughter. 

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. I think these are the major thing to perceive the meaning of life. Whether something is hard or easy, it depends on how people see it. Well, back to it again, everything in life always depended on our choice. To love or not to love, to care or not to care, to give or not to give, and the list goes on. Just remember one thing, no matter how hard life gets, Allah will make everything beautiful at the right place and the right time. 

[Day 6] How I come across Blogspot and how my life has changed since joining

"I know, that someday I'll laugh at this posts and feel stupid after all. But, I just want to create the best memories I can. I want to remind myself, that through the hard times in life, we should always share happiness and joy within ourselves."

Okay so let's just forget about how many days I skipped, I'll just get going with the challenge~^^;;;
Warning! It's gonna be a long post!

I started blogging since I was in grade 6 in elementary school, that was the moment when I've always nagged my mom and dad to give me my personal email account and sign me up for facebook which most of my friends already had. My parents said I couldn't have it yet because my age was still under the minimum requirement and I keep asking for it by saying, "my friends already have it, why can't I?". Internet was new thing these days and parents were aware of this issue, you know child kidnapping and etc. Some of them even made one without telling their parents. I don't even know why am I even feeling so scared to break the rules, the fact that I've never felt under pressure, they never mad or screamed at me.

So when my friends are talking about what was happening on facebook and etc how the post on each other walls and stuff (now it sounds ridiculous, why do I even nagged for it), I just keep listening and "whoa." while my parents keep saying no so I thought, well maybe it's just not this time. I've never tried to break the rules, I was kinda obedient these days. Like most children, who has not even through puberty yet, I've always curious about everything and I just want to try everrrrrything. And there comes a day when my mother gave me one, and the rule is she must know everything that I do on the internet. I didn't know why back then and I just agreed since my mind already conceiving new things I'll discover soon. Well, I just realized that everything they did for me was for good and my safety. I don't know if internet can be this harmful and useful at the same time, it depends.

The url never changed since the very first day, it's still the same. I remember the first blog layout was magenta pink and titled "Febby's world" (uh-huh what). Ok, my world. And I felt as if I have my new own space to pour my thoughts about everything. I used to write short stories and personal experiences (I still do). I made friends with those who were crazy over HSM (High School Musical)!! HSM was so lit and our forever otp was Troy and Gabriella and that's it! My blogger friends; Eno, who is my chairmate and my crazy-over-hsm-and-astronomy friend since elementary school; Mbak Keisha Lyubiana (and Katya, Astrid, Amel if you still remember me!), I nearly choked when re-read our decent emails about hsm and blogger things; Athaya Syafadira, who is always been an amazing person! I always envied you because you've travelled in a lot of places! Hehe; Margaretha Lie, I don't know if you still remember me, you are famous now and have grown to be a veryyy beautiful and stylish person! If you remember how decent you was in our emeil conversation, I also really enjoyed different religion kind of conversation back then; and my childhood internet friends whom I cannot mention one by one. I love you guys, a lot!

Then I stopped blogging for one or two years because I just don't know what to post anymore. And I came back after a few years decided to do something else started by changed its title to "A Hot Marshmallow" and a few changes for the background and widgets. The title, I don't have any idea why I picked that hot marshmallow whatsoever, I think I was just inspired by Diana Rikasari's hot chocolate and mint. I started to blog with my very poor English ability, to improve my English and self-improvement. I really adore Evita Nuh! Her English and French ability, her sense towards fashion, her personal life basically, and her everything that she accomplished at such a young age; 12 years old! I achieved nothing when I was her age, she is even one year younger than me. She inspired me a lot and I thought I  should do that too!

I also joined a lot of blog giveaways after I found out Kak Elsa and Dija's blog! I joined my very first giveaway held by Kak Elsa, and I won! I won it and be the youngest participant, I was sooo happy. The giveaway was to write a letter for Dija, so that she can read it in the future, when she turns 17. Kak Elsa is really sweet and amazing person!! Hahaha, and now Dija has grown sooo beautiful as always. And there came a time when I suddenly get a few proposals for endorsements and sponsorship for this blog, I've never imagined it before. My first giveaway was sponsored by one of the international glasses company, it wasn't that big but I felt so content to finally held a giveaway. This experiences taught me a lot on how to negotiate for a quite long time with a company from another country before we finally deal with each other's agreement. I had no experience on how to negotiate, nor to write formal emails, with my very basic English understanding. I barely remember what I did.

I don't remember exactly when did I changed the title to Amortentia, I was inspired by the potions in Harry Potter and I thought it sounds cool. So I made a few changes again. I am feeling like my English has gotten better, not good, just better. And until now, I am still keeping up with my main goal, self-improvement. Now, this is also a place for me to share whatever is going on in my life, my random thoughts, Islamic related things, and also to practice my language skills other than English. I know, that someday I'll laugh at this posts and feel stupid after all. But, I just want to create the best memories I can. I want to remind myself, that through the hard times in life, we should always share happiness and joy within ourselves.

Through the stop and continue in blogging. At times, I am feeling like "well, no one would read this anyway", but I don't really care because I just love to write and my main goal still is a self-improvement on the first place!  I often reviewed my previous post, I laughed every time I re-read those childhood memories and old posts. How I was thinking my English was quite good, but the reality is I don't go anywhere (esp the post in 2013-less!). What a pity. I nearly cried (for laughing) to read my old posts. But, I don't regret it at all. No matter how many mistakes I made with the grammar or the content itself, my very basic knowledge towards everything, I am happy that I had gotten this awareness in such a fairly young age.

[Day 5] How important I think education is

Education is SO important like...even if it is so hard, you know the struggle, sacrifices, and the minutes to hours to years we spend our time in it People really should educate themselves. For their own sake. For everyone sake. For this generation sake. I wasn't talking about the education system, because honestly...sorry to say, it is such a crap nowadays. I don't even have to mention it, people would agree (except to some countries which their education system are superb, hands down). I have no idea, how schooling really works. So basically, we get to kindergarten at the age of 6 or 7 (you might also experience playground stage earlier) and then an elementary school for 6 years and every student just progresses to junior high school to high school and then the so-called-though-university life.

I don't know if this education system really works, where we are educated to...memorise? rather than to learn. I mean, we can see...that, somehow, this kind of system creates a generation of a cheater because our education system values grade more than honesty, integrity, and the value of learning itself. Even though it is actually their own choice whether they choose to "cheat and get a great result which is basically not their right" or "do the best and just whatever with the result". Both, have impacts in short and long terms. The first type might get satisfied and enjoy the short term moments where they don't have to worry to do remedial, and the second probably...you know. And in long terms, I don't want to guess and make a stereotype for people like that, but...the second type might value honesty, even more, therefore, we need this kind of people to lead the world. Well, it doesn't rule out of the possibilities that there is fate and people can change and repent. But both actions, carved people's character, with or without them realizing it. Anyway, there is no harm in repeating good thing, so why bother?

And by the importance of education itself means the urge of seeking for knowledge. Even Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 74. Mashaallah! I always keep it to myself...whenever and from whoever I seek for the knowledge, I always remind myself that knowledge should keep me humble. We should seek for knowledge not to point out that other people are wrong so we can judge them easily, it doesn't mean we can say a bad thing to others because we think we are better than them. Who are you to judge? The more knowledge we have, the more humble we should be. Instead, we are becoming judgemental. (I remember I heard it from the lecture of Nouman Ali Khan, he really is an inspiration, may Allah bless him). Judgemental can lead you to be arrogance and ignorance, how terrible will that be?

Anyway, I've always wanted to share this video I found on YouTube made by a YouTuber, his most viral video was about "The Meaning of Life", you should check that too. I would be very happy if you want to watch this! :) Remember, keep educating yourself and leave what the media says.

[Day 4] My middle name and how I feel about it

ok so literally i just skipped 7 days of this 30-day-blogging challenge...

posting a post every single day is a hard thing to do. geez, seriously.

Whenever I told my middle name as my nickname in demand, I got these reactions...

"your name is beautiful." "can i have your name?" "aurora, like...the princess?" "i love your name" "your name sounds better" "holy shit you have a cool name" or even something like this, "when i was 7, i used to ask my mom to change my name to aurora" and I was like, really?

I honestly really adore my middle name over my surname and last name (sorry guys but middle name wins). I often asked my mom and dad about the meaning of my name and they're never really sure about it. I once asked my mom about my name and she was like,

"go ask your dad, he really wants that name for the first daughter. I don't know." so I was pretty happy that day and decided to ask dad and he was like, "me neither.".

I mean yeah probably they just made it up like, "ah right maybe t goes better with this" "nah this name fits." "what's the whole meaning actually?" "i don't know.".

Ok, I am so done with this. I also really love it because it sounds like..aw-raw-rah or aw-roar-uh or whatever. And also because it is close with the word "Auror" as in Harry Potter which is an elite group of witches and wizards, loyal to the Ministry of Magic (Harry and Ron are Auror!) so I am feeling like "y'all right imma have a cool name"

Trying to find the answer but ended up with nothing, I decided to look it up to our fairy godmother nowadays, Google. I was stuck within a moment and thinking, well done...hand clapping for my own self to honor my own self (lol I just self-praising). The description of aurora, Aurora borealis and australis to be precise, quite made me feel a bit overwhelming. But for my opinion, I think it is enchanting, stunning, and...regal? Smh.

Ah~! I remembered, back to the old days when I was in kindergarten, my favorite natural phenomenon was the magical magnetic-phenomenon-whatsoever-something-happens-upper-the-atmosphere, the aurora. My favorite princess among the Disney princesses was princess Aurora too. Both are simply because we share a same name and I thought it was cool. Both the electrical phenomenon and the disney princess are gorgeously beautiful and it always got me thinking, when will I get the beauty too? Feels unfair how they got that easily while I have to work for it. kkk just kidding. Well, one thing is true about it is...my middle name is Aurora and I sleep like Princess Aurora...except, I don't sleep beautifully. I get sleepy most of the time and I really like to take a nap and sleep and sleep. And I do this.

netflix and chill (ain't got netflix 'cause no money to pay bills)

 And instead, I woke up like this.
 ok sorry if this thing scared you. 

[Day 3] Your Top 5 Pet Peeves

Assuming that anyone who has different opinion or belief is stupid. I don't get it why some people can't respect other people's opinions, whether it is their belief and views toward any matters. Close-mindedly thinking that their opinion is the truest and cannot be turned down. I think it is such a big turn-off.

People who try to make conversations when I am reading and/or listening music/whatever with earphones on. It really gets on my nerves. When someone assumes that when we are reading a book that we are "doing nothing" and therefore can be interrupted, repeatedly. Sometimes all I need is solitude and locked myself from the real life with my favorite books and drowns to a fantasy without worrying about anything else. It is my own way for self-loving, and I need that in life. Some other time, I just don't want to talk with anyone. 

People who finds everything to complain about. Those who blame anything but themselves for their own failure. Well, I do complain about a lot of things too, but I am trying as hard to finish and deal with it as soon as I get my mood back. At least I tried.

People that simply cannot take their trash to the trash bin in places. Littering everywhere or throwing paper trash or whatever it is through your car window. Or throw their empty bottles or cans to everywhere they like (and inside pots) and never felt guilty of it.

Smoking in public area. I really cannot stand smoke, especially cigarettes. And people who do this in public, while they're driving, or talk. And their breath smells like cigarettes. Or they smoke in public and the smoke goes everywhere all over people's face and they keep suck it, though you realized that people around them are closing their nose and gazed at them. Even if their clothes smells like cigarettes. Seriously?

That's my top 5 pet peeves (I wish I could add more) and that's really...really annoying, not only for me but also other people. So, what are your pet peeves?

[Day 2] Stuff I am not good at (and that's ok)

Stuff I am not good at means...basically, my weaknesses? There are many things I am not good at and sometimes I am feeling like extra-useless and be like "did you forget your promises for self-improvements?!". I'll be like rushing to do this and that and the next day I will be like, "catch up later.", or "Nah, just, not now.", "it's raining. my blankets are missing me. I knew it." and goes to "what a lovely sunny day, I'd rather go to sleep." and a bunch of lines like that. 

To not being lazy is like the hardest game ever, I know it's everyone's major problem, maybe 97% of the world's population. The rest 3% are just super rare and unique and congratulations you guys are so lucky can I be you!? 

Seeing someone else is crying, I'll cry too without any specific reason in all of sudden. Somebody, could you please explain to me why and please tell my eyes to stop pouring salty-waters just by seeing others cry.

Eat a lot and gain weight. I am that type of people who eats like an elephant but my body keeps looking like a peppero or pocky stick. You're welcome. (I want to gain at least 5 kgs more but it's so hard for the sake of healthiness)

Staying clean and tidy, this. This, I TRY SO HARD TBH. I might have cleaned it on a day with all the energy and all might I have left, but the next day it will come back again to super chaos. A wrecked ship and stuff. Clothes, bread crumbs, water bottle are everywhere. Books and paper are scattering all over the floor. And my mom be yelling, "why no one helps me" and "we don't raise you to create titanic honey"

I am not good at doing just one thing. It's hard to just focus on one thing. Multi-task. I like multitasking and I read on certain sources from the internet that it's not good to multitasking, doing one thing at a time is much much better to keep yourself on track, they said. 

Being on time. I like to endure and this is where most of the problems lie. Time-management is like the most crucial thing in the world and I am trying so hard at this but whyyyy myself why

Of all the things I am not good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most understanding. And really, people, we should stop spending our time wondering why we're not good enough. Everyone has the things they're not good at, and that's okay! ^^

[Day 1] The Difference Between My Personal and Internet Self

Honestly, I've never thought about it; the difference between my personal and internet self? Wouldn't it be just the same? I am the same person to the person I am on the internet, am I? Thinking that I might be wrong for these thoughts in the first place, I realized that our personal and internet self is likely to have huge differences. Yes, it does.

For this post, I decided to take the famous psychology personality test by Carl Jung and Briggs Myers today, again (Click this link if you want to know yours!). The result is I am an INFJ. The INFJs are sometimes mistaken as an extrovert because we appeared so outgoing and enjoying the accompany of other people. But honestly, it's just the opposite, we are true introverts and rather to spend our time alone. I do. Tranquility and solitude enthusiasts. You know, we are daydreamers.

I honestly, like super honest, I love being alone and I hate being around people and crowds, although I am noisy and speaks a lot. I don't know, I am not quite sure about that too...maybe I am an extrovert? It is also stated that "Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills." wHOA. I don't know but this is so true. I basically...I hardly say things verbally but I am feeling like I am quite good or better if I write it down, compose words between spaces for numerous times on a daily basis. I was always interested in-depth, everything with such deep meanings, whatever it is. I love linguistics and various kind of knowledge, maybe that's why I love languages. Languages are like super aesthetic and attractive. Don't you think so?

To distinguish my personal and internet self...I honestly don't know how should I write about it, I, myself, it's hard to distinguish them. But maybe like I said, maybe, sometimes people misunderstood me for being an extrovert. Or I don't know. Some people also didn't understand my personal deeply held principles. And you know things like...how we treat some things differently or my views toward particular things like religion, knowledge, society, commitment, love, education, and life itself.

Everyone is free to choose and determine their life principles, so why bother forcing other people to use your principles? I mean, just deal with it. And things like, idk, I also use the sarcasm language a lot too. I am not cool and not smart-headed, but I like learning and enjoy its process. I perhaps seemed like good at languages, but tbh I am not fluent, I am just currently working on it. They said, "Fake it 'till you become it.", so I fake it and perhaps I'll become it. That's my way for self-improvement. I sometimes being insecure about how people might have been disappointed by me, because I am not the person they expected me to be, and things like that. I also really envy those people in such young ages like in their early 11-17s, or way younger than that, they already invented remarkable and amazing inventions. The young researchers. Also, the young hafiz-hafizah (people who memorized the Qur'an), Masha Allah. And I thought, what have I gained during my 17 years on earth? Why am I wasting my precious time?! etc. I get insecure all the time. We are all the same, and I think most people already experienced it too, so did the elders and etc.

Whatever we are in both real and internet self, just go through it. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase. It's just a phase, a metaphor.