For those of you who are worrying about the future...

"Unfortunately, time is the only preposition 

that we actually have but never own."

Okay, guys so ignore the previous post because I've decided to write something longer... I guess. You know that it has been quite a long time for me to write here because of the immense activity and new things that I have to do since I moved abroad. It's 2.15 am when I am writing this, I was trying to sleep two hours ago but I couldn't because I have so many things in my mind right now. The previous short writing got me reflected on my past journeys comparing with where I am today. So, I decided to write something to pour it all out. My mind is always complicated and full of things even when I need to focus or when I don't even want to think about anything. It's always full. It wanders to places so far away that I have never been before. It's a mess. Even if I can give you one chance to see what's going on in my mind right now, I'll suggest that you don't. I don't think that you'll be ready for the endless chaos.

It has been almost one and a half year living in South Korea. Studying and living abroad in my 20s was merely just a dream before. Ten years ago, the idea of pursuing knowledge in foreign lands was almost unreachable and impossible as I am not coming from a wealthy family who is willing to pay for my tuition in such prestigious universities abroad. Knowing that the reality is always harsh and doesn't always go with the expectation, I started building and unleashing the hidden power inside me that I believe will be useful for my future. I occupied myself with armors and weapons to be ready with growth that always comes with a price: pain. I finally came to a realization that the future is always unpredictable, therefore, I prepared myself with the worst scenario. But, there's never a plan B. I probably have told people that I do have plan B, but the truth is, I don't. I just said it because people will always have something to "say" and saying that I have a plan B succeeded in preventing myself from the endless questions. I am quite an all or nothing person.

I remember those days in high school, I was working so hard for my future but not realizing that I neglected things that I don't know I will miss today; moments. I could share thousands of good moments during my golden time in high school, achieving everything that helps me to reach my dream. I, indeed, enjoyed everything that I did but I still have some regrets because I paid a little to no attention to my surroundings. I focused on my future so much that I didn't live in the present. I was so driven, motivated about my future that all I wanted to do was just jumping into that day and nothing else. I should've told my past-self that I don't have to be worried that much for everything will eventually be alright in the end; it will make sense as life will put you in situations that you have never imagined before. And now that I am living the life that I have always been dreaming of, all those unnecessary worries and doubts look like nothing today compared to the consequences that come along the way.

However, I don't regret choosing this path. I love my life right now and even if I was given a chance to go anywhere or anytime in my life, I will still choose this path. I just regret that I didn't live my life to the fullest at that time. Had I known that everything will be ok, I would spend my time more wisely, explore more places and meet more people. Unfortunately, time is the only preposition that we actually have but never own. So, for those of you who are worried about your future right now, don't stop dreaming but don't forget to live your life, pay attention to your surroundings and worry less. Believe me that you'll reach whatever you're dreaming for if you work enough for it. Remember that everything will be alright in the end.

Love,

Febby Aurora

A Quick Hello!

Hello everyone! Peace be upon you.

I hope you're all doing well. I just wanna write a quick post today since we're so close to Ramadhan   (only a few days left!). Last week, I had my first mid-term examination at Korea University and I am on my way towards finals in June. Time flies by so fast, I am kinda scared but excited at the same time tbh. My Ramadhan last year was incredible alhamdulillah, as it was also my first time spending Ramadhan abroad. The difference is I spent Ramadhan in Busan last year, but start from this year I will spend my Ramadhan in Seoul. New places, new friends, new environments, and new experiences Insha'Allah. Anyway, just click the link below if you want to read it!

1. My first Ramadhan in Korea

2. Ramadhan in Korea pt.2: The best gift on the 29th night of Ramadhan 

Finally, I hope each one of you will have a blessed Ramadhan. May Allah put barakah in everything that we do and accept our ibaadah and prayers.

Love,

Febby Aurora

First Week at Korea University & Teaching Kids

First Week at Korea University - Course Registration and Journaling

Last Monday, May 4th 2019, I started my first week as a freshman at Korea University. I did course registration (수강신청) for the first time before college starts (개강) and took 18 credits with 2 core-general education in "Introduction to Economics" and "Introduction to Political Science". Those two classes are the very basic thing that I would need for the next 4 years before taking some major classes which would need pre-requisites or general idea about the courses. I changed my schedule during the add/drop period due to some reasons and consideration, the rest of the classes are English classes to improve my academic English skill in general, reading, writing, debating, and so on. My courses are all in English!! ye-hey, happy. Bye, Korean. Oh, and before anyone asking again, I am majoring in International Studies. Yep, International Studies, not International Relations. I will write a post about it as soon as I understand clearly the difference between both of them, Insha Allah.

I have been trying to start journaling again for the past few days, I just bought my stationeries last week and decided that this year's theme will be all in black! I also re-write and re-consider my future goals and make it aligned with my timetable right now. I don't know what will happen in the next few months, my first semester in KU, but I wish I will remain steadfast and firm in my faith or even goes deeper than I used to have. I pray that whatever I will face in the future: pain, rejection, blessing, dynamic, etc, will always have barakah in it. I don't know what will happen in the next four months, or four years even, but I wish my future-self will contemplate on the posts that I've written from the past few years in this book or in my journals, thus, I will remember why I started.

I have been writing a blog since I was 12 years old and that's the time where I started to plan out my whole life. I make a plan, Allah plans, but Allah is the best of a planner. But as a Muslim, we are not ought to just let everything happen and wait. We are taught to do our part with hard-work and the rest we leave it to Allah. Having tawakkal in Allah doesn't mean we don't plan out things, having tawakkal in Allah means "we do our part first and let Allah do the rest". From the past few weeks, I am trying to change my eating and lifestyle by building a habit of "eat more vegetables and fruits"! Cooking recipe videos are one of my jam now yayyyy (I am not a pro but at least I am trying! hehe). There are still some habits that I have to change including zero procrastination, read more books, seek knowledge, drink more water, and stop-clicking-the-snooze-button!! I am trying to fix and change myself to be better because after all, it is for my own good. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah for Islam.

My First Time Teaching Kids (in Korean!)
Hmm, what else..? Oh! This Saturday was my first time teaching Indonesian or mix-married Korean kids, I was paired with three kids today (around 4-6 years old): Ali, Hakim, and Iram. Three of them can't speak Korean, well, one knows and understands but doesn't want to use it. It was such a challenge for me because I am so bad at speaking but yeah I tried. Ali keeps saying, "I don't know Indonesian." and ran away from the table. I have met Iram before when I was still in Busan, she kinda forgot me at first but after I showed her the selfies that we used to take she started to hold my hands, jumps here and there, pull me to the right or left, run around the room, and never tried to let go of it! Awe. She likes studying and always repeat her Qur'an memorization even when it's not the time for memorizing. Also, her story-telling skill is amazing, perhaps better than I do.

The other two boys are siblings but they look like a twin because of how much they resemble each other! Similar heights even. Ali is older than his peers but still too young to be included in the "big class", he is still kiddo after all. However, he is maturer than the kids on his age and tends to take care of those younger than him. He is shy and likes to lower his voice when reading Iqra' or repeating the surah he has memorized. I don't know if he was not confident or just bored. Hakim, on the other hand, is less shy than his brother but his focus often distorted with toys and snacks. Both of them are quiet but likes drawing, I was surprised when I saw Ali's drawing. He drew so well that I can tell what he is drawing (some kids' drawings are so abstract I don't even know what that is.). Ali is my favourite hihi!

However, three of them did well and actually knows the Arabic alphabets they have memorized before. Just bored and lazy I think, typical kids. Because as soon as we played hand-plushies, they started to tell me stories about animals (in Korean of course) and did some role-plays where I have to act like I am hurt or give special reaction whenever they push the plushies to me, like you know, attacking. Hahahah, funny thing, they don't know the names of animals in Bahasa Indonesia except one thing, bebek, and they'll start laughing endlessly. May Allah bless these kids, aamiin ya rabbal alamin.

Friends: trials and blessings

 

"If somebody asks me, "What is the biggest blessing that ever happened to you?" I won't say money, degree, or any material gifts. I would say, "Friends".

Friends are the biggest blessing that Allah has ever bestowed upon me throughout my whole life. The friend that always reminds me of Allah, the hereafter, the reason why I remain steadfast in deen of Islam. The people who corrects me when I do something wrong and I, deep down, really appreciate whenever they did do that. They are the ones who put values in my life and taught me about a lot of things that cannot be bought by money or traded with any material things in this world.

Thank you for the lessons and things unseen to the eyes. I wish I could mention each one of my friends who changed my life and filled my days with beautiful memories, but it won't ever be enough to express how grateful I am to have each one of them in my life.

My sisters and brothers in Islam, know that you played a huge role in my life. Barakallahu feekum, jazakallahu khairan katsiran. Aamiin yaa rabbal alamin."

***

I posted this on my snap gram on 13th of February, 2018. I was in the KTX from Busan on my way to Seoul, listening to Mufti Menk's podcast about the blessings of friends in our life (if you want to watch/listen, see the youtube video below or simply click this link!). That day, I officially moved to Busan after I spent almost one-year studying the Korean language. Now it's my time to start my degree in Korea University, Seoul, and start a new life here.

It was hard and difficult to leave, to be honest, because I was already comfortable with my life there and have good friends, really really good friends. They are my sisters that I met in Al-Fatah Mosque Dusil and my KGSP friend from Egypt, Amira. Of course, I have other friends as well, but they are the ones I am closest with, whom I talked to a lot. And by talking means, no simple talking but deep and meaningful conversations, sharing and exchanging our thoughts about Islam, world, politics, social-economy to jinns, universe, science, technology, and even marriages! HAHAHA they are the best! I love my friends, of course, my friends in Indonesia are included, the people that I probably have mentioned in the previous posts. The precious ones in my life who probably doesn't realize that their aspirations, ambitions, and views about this life inspired me to keep moving on in this life. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said: A man follows the religion of his friend; 

so each one should consider whom he makes his friend. (Narrated by Abu Hurayrah)"

This past few weeks, the last two months to be precise, I was having a rough time of discovering myself to new paths of life. It was quite short but an unforgettable experience. It was exciting but hurts so much, that I really didn't expect it at all. It was rather a painful journey. I am afraid I cannot tell the details of what happened because it includes some privacy of some people, and due to that I will just paint the big picture. Moreover, it is not our way in Islam to talk bad about others in front of other people and put a bad image on them (May Allah forgives us). Yes, we do make mistakes and sometimes we forgot, but everyone has a chance to forgive and learn. 

I'd rather lose one or two friends that possibly caused me to go astray from the goodness or lead me to destruction than to lose my relationship with Allah Azza Wa Jalla. We make mistakes but we always have two or more choices and give a free-will. We are given brains to think and reflect on every matter that happened in our lives but sometimes our hearts are contradictory to each other. Whatever doubts you have: remember to always trust your gut feeling, it's right most of the time, InshaAllah. And always put your trust in Allah, ask him to guide you and your heart to the best choice only, for your Dunya (world) and akhirah. It is only win-or-win solution whenever you put your trust in Allah, be tawakkal, of course, do your part first by doing ikhtiar and then you can leave the rest to Allah.

“Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, 

except for the righteous...” (Qur’an 43:67- 73)

The Beginning of A Journey

Korean Language Training graduation day - January, 2019

This is just the beginning...

Almost 3 months passed since I wrote anything in this blog, I have promised you 

to write articles on the topic that you guys requested but I haven't had the chance and time to write, 

I am sorry, I will try my best. If... possible. InshaAllah. Hehe. 

This post will mark the beginning of my study journey in South Korea. By January 18th I've officially finished my Korean Language Training Program at Silla University. Yes, I've graduated! Alhamdulillah. But this is not the end, at all. Instead, this is the beginning of the real journey. Soon enough I will start my undergraduate studies on Spring Semester at Korea University, Seoul. I will leave Busan (that has become my second hometown now I guess!) and move to Seoul by mid-February InshaAllah.

A lot of things happened in 2018, the good and the bad. I am feeling so grateful that I have met wonderful and amazing GKS (Global Korea Scholarship) friends at Silla University: 36 people from 32 different countries. We came from various cultures and backgrounds, we may not always like each other and have the same opinions about everything but we learned how to respect and appreciate each other's cultures and values despite our differences. They are all amazing people, I learned about their pasts and the journeys that they have been through but managed to survive until they became the person they are today. We all have strengths and weaknesses, we may not be perfect but that's what differentiates us from one another. And I am feeling so happy that I got the chance to learn about their lives, personal values, and way of thinking.

When I look back at my life again I realize how lucky and blessed I am because of this opportunity. I really am grateful and InshaAllah will not regret my decision of coming to Korea despite the challenges that I have to face in order to survive. Life in Korea may not be easy, but this is where I learn how to be responsible and get out of my comfort zone in order to grow. Oh, and I am 20 now, it might be young for some people and old for some other people. But for me, I've always reminded myself that "If today is your last day, then you are old already.", so don't wait until you're old because old age is not promised. The present is the only thing that we have right now, so make sure that we don't waste it! #selfreminder :)

Sail, Shore, and Ocean

Yeongdo-daegyo, Busan, South Korea

Thursday on the beginning of October was a well-spent night under the columns of light in South Korea. The weather was cold and stinging but Autumn is still yet to come. You told me that the sailing was delayed due to this dangerous weather, I remembered how excited you were about the idea of coming back home for a few days. And that time you asked me one more time if we could meet to spend some time around before typhoon hits Busan, or before your months worth of sailing. 

Winds and waves,
Shore and ocean,
Buildings and bridges,

All that above remind me of how you talked about your agony and hardship that you have been through all these years. About the pain that you bury inside your heart over and over again by trying to let it pass one more time. About your fear of future and your own definition of happiness. Three hours of conversation passed by like a warm breeze in a tranquil restaurant near the city lights. “You know what? There are two reasons that make me happy today, guess!” you exclaimed in, carving a big smile.

“Ummm. I think I know,” I said, “First, because you got day-offs from sailing before you get a further announcement about the typhoon effect. Second... because you can eat raw fish today?” Moving my eyebrows as I pointed out at the plate of salmon and tuna in front of us, grabbed another salmon and dipped in the salted-oil sauce. 

You told me before, it has been a long time since you ate raw fish. But suddenly you laughed hard as if you have been given all the freedom you can have in this world. “The first thing is correct,” you smiled once again, letting out a sigh so freely as if all the burden on your shoulder has been swept away. “The second is because I got to talk with you about everything today. Thank you, I am very happy today.” 

And suddenly my heart is at ease,

at least I know how it felt like,

to be able to bring someone’s smile back,

even just for a while.

Then you took me for a walk to a beautiful scene that I have never seen before, well I might have seen it but not this way. Not on this rainy day. I have never walked to the shore on a rainy day, on typhoon weather. No, not at all, not once in my life.

“I am afraid of the sea; the depth of the ocean. It’s scary.” I said and you laughed.

“There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Well, I can't swim!" you laughed again, now mocking me.

"I can swim." so what? It doesn't help me either way. Sea is scary. No further interruption. "I love the sound of the sea, it’s relaxing. I used to go here to swim when I was a kid," you stopped and pointed afar, "Do you see the green and red lights near the lighthouse?” I nodded, “that’s the navigation for ships. Look at those ships there.” 

You kept on pointing your finger like a 6 year-old-kid to all the objects that you can name one by one across the bridge enthusiastically, explained it passionately as if your life is revolved around them, although it's true. Your life is revolved around them. 

Now I have seen the sea when it’s stormy and wild; or when suddenly it’s quiet and serene. I have listened to the sound of waves crashing the rocks across the lane that we walked in along the shore. I have felt the difference in the vivid lights of skyscrapers and the raging waves that were separated by the bridge. I have noticed how the green and red lights were meant to be something important to the world that you live in. 

But the bottom line is that I can't see the ocean the way it used to be, for I realized that everything has turned into something meaningful and beautiful. At least not in my life, but maybe somebody else's life.

And maybe, too, this world is the only place 
where I get the chance to learn about people from a wider perspective 
and be less judgemental about other people's life.

***
p.s:
This one is non-fiction based on my experience with my friend, thank you for teaching me a lot of lesson without you even realized. I hope you are doing well there in the ocean!

[Comment here!] Blog post request & ideas

Helloooo.

Recently, I have been receiving a lot of requests and blog post ideas through Instagram and emails. I already took notes and planned to write as soon as I have time and collect material 📝 InshaAllah soon. Anyway, thank you so so much for your kindest words, loves, and supports you gave. I might not express it pretty well in my replies (due to the amount of happiness I felt in one go!), I was overwhelmed but it DOES touch my heart :') heheee. Send my loves back to y'all!

I was wondering if some of you have any ideas or request as well, please comment down below the things that you most curious about. Anything. And anonymous is allowed. So, feel free to say anything. I will try my best to give you the best information or opinions (if needed). Even if you feel like you already requested via dm or smth, you can comment here again. I am afraid I have forgotten......some. hehe. sorry. 

Love,

Febby Aurora xx

Soul...mate?

Prophet (pbuh) said: “Souls are like crowds which gather together. 

The ones who met before get along well. 

The ones who did not meet before, cannot get along very well and separate.” 

(Bukhari, Anbiya, 2; Muslim, Birr, 159; Abu Dawud, Adab, 19). 

To: the unknown

Your soul color shall be a deep dark blue with a hint of silver. Your true colors are interchangeable, a collection of complexities that I will never fully comprehend.

It will be free and vulnerable;
the rockets of desire;
sincere but complex. 

It will attract my mind that is only captured by the uncommon and solitary individual. The few one who is willing to drag their mind out of this world and go beyond the limit. My eyes would have seen a lot of things, from the way your words shall ignite my own to the way you hide away your crown.Your thoughts are deep and I beseech. Through you, I will find pieces of myself that were once tied with yours before we were born in this world. We might not know yet, but the love remains old and e c h o e s in the world before lifetimes. 

But all that matters is that someday I will find out that you have grown more than I ever had since all the years before we meet. And you should know that you deserve a whole lot more in the future that has been written only for the soul that remains untouched and truthful. Your soul is beautiful.

And remember that my prayers are for thou,
the heart has been longing for.

[04.28 am, dorm room, full of thoughts]

[Link Download] KGSP-Undergraduate 2019!

Announcement!

Guidelines KGSP 2019 for Undergraduate Studies (via Embassy, University Track, and Associate Degree) has been released.
For guidelines and more information click:

KEDUBES KOREA
http://overseas.mofa.go.kr/id-id/brd/m_2707/view.do?seq=761327&srchFr=&srchTo=&srchWord=&srchTp=&multi_itm_seq=0&itm_seq_1=0&itm_seq_2=0&company_cd=&company_nm=&page=1

NIIED
studyinkorea.go.kr

Please read the guidelines and available informations first before asking!
KGSP Grantee’s blogs link are available on the sidebar of this blog as well.
Best of luck!!

Spend five minutes to watch this video :)

Assalamualaikum peace be upon you,

Hello it’s me. I don’t know who you are, the one who passed by this post,
but I am very sure that Allah wants you to know this message.

I just want you to spend your 5 minutes to watch this video. Just a little time to invest, not that much. Look, ponder, and reflect how this person’s heart is attached to Allah. I hope you can take something to learn from it :)

Have a good day and may Allah bless you🖤